It is an attitude.

I had a conversation with some work mates today.

We were talking about New Years Resolutions.

ALL of the women wanted to lose weight.  Big, small, round, petite.  ALL of them had resolved to lose weight this year.

The guys wanted to do stupid shit.  But they are guys, so we belittled them and then ignored them.

Anyway.  One of my best girls at work (the same age as my mum) was telling us about WHY she had resolved to lose weight this year.  She was walking down the street with a couple of very slim friends.  All around her age.  A teenage boy whistled at her friends  and then looked at her and said ‘But not you’

I was gutted for her.  How disgusting.  How humiliating.  Wish I had been there, there would have been some Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the spleen action goin’ on.  In heels.

She went on and on about how disgusting, fat and horrible she was.   The others were all saying the obligitory ‘No you are not!’ ‘Your so pretty’ all the usual shit we say to each other and not really mean it.

Cause women are bitches.  They truly are.

I sat there in silence.  They all looked at me.  Silence is not normal for me.  They were wondering what I was going to say to make her feel better.

‘Do you ever feel sexy?’ I asked her.  With my serious face on.  You know the one.  The one you reserve for the kids when you really really want them to listen to you.

She laughed.  The other girls laughed.  The guys leaned in closer.  They weren’t really listening, but heard the word ‘sexy’ and were all of a sudden interested.

‘No I am serious.  Do you ever feel sexy?’

‘Of course not.  I am nearly 60!’

‘So?  I feel sexier now than I did when I was 20.’

‘Yeah, but you are only in your 30’s’

‘Sexy is an attitude.  Not an age’

WHY do women feel that to be sexy they have to be a tiny, young, blonde girl with big bazookas?

I feel sexy.  Well not tonight sitting here sweating  glowing in an old tshirt. But I felt sexy today.  When I pulled on some killer heels with a pencil skirt in a gorgeous material that felt like it was kissing my legs.

I felt sexy then.

Fresh nailpolish and silky glossy lipgloss makes me feel sexy.

Lacy underwear makes me feel sexy.

I am a woman in her 30’s.  Past it by most standards. I am overweight.  I have a tummy that I despise.  I get zits.  I have wrinkles popping up and a requirement to dye my hair.  Most nights I don’t get my beauty sleep.  And. You. Can. Tell.

But I can pull on some clothes that make me feel good, put a slick of gloss on my lips, style my hair and I can feel like a million dollars.

I walk taller.  I smile more.  I get more attention.  I get male attention (not that I am looking for that, but it is a nice little ego boost!) and compliments.

These things don’t happen when I am feeling frumpy or ugly.

Everyone is sexy.  Everyone is attractive.  It is an attitude.  A state of mind.

A decision.

It is about confidence and feeling worthy of others attention.  It’s about knowing what your good features are and ignoring or playing down the bad.

It’s about feeling comfortable in your own skin.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am no Angelina or insert-sexy-actress-chicky-babe-here.  I know that.  I just know that when I feel sexy, confident, whathaveyou people treat me better.  They are nicer.  And in turn, I am nicer cause I feel good.

And of course MPS likes it when I feel sexy *snigger*

What do you do to boost your confidence?  What makes you feel sexy?

Guys you can answer but it cannot involve blow up anything, movies or the internet…..

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or so the gossip mongers say. And we play along, cause we are shit stirrers like that.

If they knew me well they would know that S is not, um, manly, enough for me *snigger* and we were friends looooong before he was my boss.  And he adores his wife.

We regularly have bitch sessions, compare coffee houses and are often found huddling in the corner giggling at the resident dress-like-a-teen-even-though-you-are-pushing-menopause hooker workmate.

Oh, and he is my bitch. And my daughters best friends Dad. So nooky in the conference room, I don’t think so, more like we would be doing each others nails ifyouknowwhatImean *wink*

Today we were gossiping. I was sitting on his desk, wearing a short skirt, he was leaning close, workmates eyes were popping out of heads *gaffaw* and this was the conversation:

Me: You bastard! You went and got a coffee and not me one.

S: I think I have PMS. I forgot, sorry. I was just at the salon. We had the most awesome salad but I just needed CHOCOLATE! So I got this huge hunk of mud cake…… but I know you don’t like cake. See I was thinking of you.  Even if I forgot to get you a coffee.

(his wife owns a beauty salon)

Me: Gimme some of your coffee you big girl (he has the same as me, double skinny latte no sugar)

*slurp*

S: Did you see A has that low cut top on again today. I don’t know where to look!

Me: *giggle* I am so going to tell her you said that.

S: Shutup! Don’t you dare!

Me: Hey does anyone have next week off?

S: Why?

Me: C’mon. Does anyone have next week off? Lemme look.

S: No, don’t want you to look. I will miss you. If you are not here I don’t have any friends.

*big girly pout*

Me: C’mon let me have next week off. You didn’t buy me coffee remember?

S: OK. But who will I talk to?

Me: I don’t care, I will be a lady of leisure. You could always come up at lunchtime and bring me a coffee.

*both sniggering* I said it loud enough for the gossipers to hear.

So I have the rest of this week off because of school closures for Boo and then next week to do with what I wish. Oh the bliss.

Oh and I will miss S. Cause he is my bitch. And cause he is fabulous.

I do have plans to do a lot though.  Thinking I might put a bit of a sidebar thingy on to keep me accountable.  You know, shit like ‘lounge around’, ‘do my nails’, ‘do lunch’, ‘build a cubby house/pergola’….

Perhaps a bit optimistic, but hey I have never been known to take on small projects.  I need just enough pulling-my-hair-out-hysterically pressure to work off all the caffeine I consume.

UPDATE:

Rat-fuck-son-of-a-bitch.  Moo just announced that she has Monday off.  That sucks.

She’s a fucking yo yo.

The last few days have been bizarre.

One minute I am rejoicing, the next I wanna string a noose in the yard. I am getting so confused that I am starting to look like the Joker from Batman (Jack Nicholson Joker thankyouverymuch) and people are starting to stare.

All scared like.

Like I’m gunna snap.

And I could too…… just look into my eyes….

But I wont. I will bury it deep, like I always do and now add to the mix, blathering on my blog. Oh you lot are great therapists. Just don’t expect to be paid. Mummy needs shoes remember……

Right now Boo is looking for my purse. Yeah again. Just like he did a few weeks ago, when I played positive spin day. Not playing today. Cause the last few days have just been freakin’………. Oh. MY. FUCKING.GOD he found it..

Talk amongst yourselves or whatever it is you do while alone sitting in front of a computer….

Yeah brilliant. You little – OK what were my new words that you lovelies have taught me? –

Asshat, twat, fucker, knob, fucktard…..

Nah, can’t use ’em. Lets just call him a little shit. He has just emptied my purse on the floor. Thankfully (hmm mebee not) it it full of receipts and not alotta cash. But the kid has just chopped up a $10 note.

Well that’s your dinner, you bastard. I hope it is tasty!

OK, now what was I whinging about? Oh that’s right. Boing, Boing, freakin’ yo yo….

So many things have happened in the last few days my head is spinning. Fabulous, wonderful, fantastic, about-freaking-time, things and God-take-me-now-before-I-hurt-someone shit.

I won’t bore you all with the gory details but will share some good stuff while Boo is screaming in his room. Tomorrow I am getting a fucking lock and some padding for the walls…..

In the meantime, paste on your Joker smile and rejoice with me….

Boo is on day 7 of gluten filled food with no real symptoms. Boo started off allergic (intolerant) to the world. Slowly but surely he has been ‘growing out’ of it. The last vestiges of the insanity were soy, gluten, milk and salicylates. Soy is OK now, as are moderate salicylate, but aspirin apparently will never be OK, neither will milk. Once he accidentally got into some milk at school and the teacher had to run to the shops to get industrial strength air freshener. And a gas mask.  Yeah, anyway, will find out in a couple of months when he has the biopsy on whether he is actually coeliac or has grown out of a gluten intolerance. Please God, Allah, Goddess, Jean Luc Picard…. make it so!

DH is loving his new job.

I was a good little housewife and haven’t been on line at all much today.

Boo’s language has been exploding. He is saying many more words and I can’t tell if they are direct take off’s (mitigated echolalia for those in the know) of TV show or not. Or *gasp* his own words!

I was home alone ALL DAY today. Bliss

and the bestest, wrapped in fabulousness, freakin’ awesome thing?

DH got his pay slip. I nearly fainted. He worked 4 days and earn’t more money than when he was the manager at his last station!

AND they want him to work as many hours as he can until AT LEAST the end of November.

AND they want him to continue with his studies and giving him time to do it at work.

AND DH is loving his new job. I know I said that before. But it is just un- freakin – believable.

I have to keep slapping myself. And I am smiling so hard I can’t feel my cheeks.

 

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If you are new to this blog be sure to read the ‘magneto bold family’ at the top of the blog. Up there, above the coffee beans…. See? Then read this post again and you might actually understand why I am so excited.

Sorry, had to dig myself out of the mountains of tissues and snot and self pity. Dragged my sorry arse out of bed this morning at 6am after hacking up a lung half the night. In at work at 7am to catch up on some work that was desperately behind and my bosses boss was screaming for me to finish. Got everything I needed to get done in 6 hours and then came home. But maybe if I had this:

I could have saved some time and made it home earlier.

Anyway. The good news.

Firstly, Moo had a wonderful time at camp, not that you could really call it a camp. They went to the city for 4 days and shopped. A few other things were chucked in, but primarily it was about the shopping. It was good practice for the boys. They got to hold the girls bags and sit in the corner forlornly while the girls giggled and tried clothes on. Get used to it guys! Felt for the teachers though. 80 kids, aged 15-17.

But the best part is Moo bought me a present.

RED HEELS!!! The girls got taste. I love them!

And secondly. The big news in this household this week…… Drumroll please……

DH got offered a job. They called him! He hasn’t even finished his Cert IV yet. It is just casual, but that means that he can ease himself back into the workforce and still finish his course. That, on top of the semi regular DJ work he has been getting we might even get ahead!

It took a good 2 days for it to really sink in. It really might be over. The last 2 – 3 years have been so HARD. Every now and then I would look at DH and wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I would just mouth ‘a job in IT’ and he would laugh and I would cough up a lung.

Things could just be looking up. Oh please, let it be true.