So this is what greeted DH when he got home tonight.

congrats-dad.jpg

Cause now DH is a fully fledged geek.

His midlife meltdown is over and he is now an IT professional.

On Thursday he went to do some work experience at a large IT company.  He was there for 3 hours when he was offered a job.

On Friday he went to work where he is a casual and told them of the offer.

Today they came back with an offer of more money than the other job to stay.

So even though he hasn’t even finished his course, he had two large corporations fighting over him.  His head was so inflated when he got through the door his fledgling Mo was nearly sucked right back into his face.

But he was soon brought crashing down to earth by the little sign tacked onto the bottom of Moo’s show of daughterly love.

If you look closely it says ‘I hate you’

Apparently it is a joke.  Boo was trying to make a joke.  So the Teletubbies stalking me in the middle of the night at the end of his arm whispering ‘Kill, Kill, Kill’ must be hilarious in his twisted mind….

Anyway.  DH is rather impressed with himself.  The first two things he thought of when he accepted the job?

Security for his family?

Being able to pay for the ‘free education’ we enjoy in Australia that will be thousands come January when Moo’s VCE course books need to be acquired and teachers bribed course fees paid?

His wonderful wife being able to buy all the shoes that she can eat?  (Sorry, Spamalot is in Australia and Monty Python skits are looping in my head)

Food on the freaking table?

No.

DH thinks now he has a well paying job he can buy another laptop.  And his wife is gunna put out.  In the middle of Movember.

I don’t think so buddy.  I have a song by Pink I want you to listen to.

Boo is obsessed with the Potter Puppet Pals. He has taken to banging his head against any surface muttering

‘Angst, Angst, Angst’

I know how he feels.

Or he exclaims

‘What is that mysterious ticking noise? I know, its a PIPE BOMB!!’

….. and we have to go to the Post Office this afternoon.

Oh the hilarity! I better get a lot done this afternoon because I will be spending the evening in the lock up I expect….

‘No officer, that is not a bomb in my pocket’

Now he is doing the death march. Freaking Hell! Is there no end to this childs weirdness?

No, but I am thinking of handing him a hammer. THAT would make me smile.

‘Boo, Po is in the pantry, mocking me again!’

For your viewing pleasure this is the inspiration for what will either send me to jail on terrorism charges or social services to my door for duct taping my son to the wall the day before his birthday…

I just got in the door (well technically I got in the door about 1/2 an hour ago…..) and this is what greeted me.

Peals of laughter coming from the family room.

You know that contagious, deep belly kid gaffaws that make you smile the second you hear them?

Boo is in there. The PS2, as usual, is on full volume, Taz Wanted blaring, Taz bouncing on a trampoline making a weird banging noise. The out of nowhere the sound of an elephant trumpeting (? Is that even a word?)

And Boo. Bent over laughing so hard that I am sure there are tears in his eyes.

Hitting a Teletubbie repeatedly over the head with a hammer.

This week I have learnt a lot of things.

I have learnt (from Erin!) that the more water you drink the more your stuffed up nose will run…… down the back of your throat causing spazzaming choking coughing attacks at 3am. Causing you to vomit in the hallway.

I have learnt that said spazzaming choking coughing attacks at 3am do not wake my snoring husband. Even when I purposely do it 2 inches away from his ear.

I have learnt that said SCCA@3am causing vomit covered hallways need to be cleaned up by said vomiter. BUT only if your names starts with K and you are the mother.

I have learnt that KFC takes longer than 8 hours to digest. Ew!

I have learnt that toilet paper really is better for blowing your nose. No peeling nose for me! Thankyou near poverty for being able to afford toilet paper or tissues. Not both.

I have learnt I am easily pleased. Ecstatic actually. When DH brought home the new coffee maker yesterday by whole body shuddered with pleasure.

I have learnt that I am a much nicer person with coffee. LOTS of coffee.

I have learnt that if you stuff the Eye Toy camera in your mouth you can actually see your tonsils on the screen! Source: Watching Boo through the family room window.

I have learnt that I hate the Teletubbies. Well I have always hated the Teletubbies, but I especially hate them when 1. they are lined up on my kitchen bench while I am trying to cook, mocking me and 2. when they join their partner in crime, Boo, in scaring the bejesus out of me in the middle of the night, sneaking up on me to yell ‘Kill Kill Kill’ while I am in a SCCA.

I have learnt that I NEED coffee. Really. Oh sweet nectar of the Gods….

I have learnt that I have some wonderful caring friends both in real life and on the internet. Thankyou. You are my life line.

I have learnt that the very idea of DH going back to work gets me rather, ahem, um, excited. He starts MONDAY!!!!!!

I have learnt coffee soothes the savage mummy. (See a theme here?)

I have learnt that my workmate A is truly mad. Certifiable. And that is why I love her. She is currently putting in a tender to get a used Army tank. For her front yard. And she has a dead cat in her freezer. Apparently for DNA evidence if the police ever take her complaint seriously. Yes, mad as a cut snake, but wonderful. She took pity on me yesterday and went out and bought me a coffee.

I have learnt that my kids are wonderful. I have always known that, but I need to put something in here about ’em!

I have learnt that waking up in the morning and finding comments on my blog makes my day that little bit brighter, even if I have to go to work.

And lastly, I have learnt that shoes really do make me happy. Especially my sexy knee high red ones 🙂