Cause it so is a land. Shuddup. It is too. We have our own currency and everything…. shoes, coffee and chocoate. Just like the Inca, but with clothes and bedding and shit.
******
Boo: Get me a blanket I need to do a poo. – paper or blanket….. we know the answer.
******
Me: Harden the fuck up – to the mayonaisse that was a tad runny.
******
Workmate: I think of you whenever I put on my shoes. and they were white! *shudder*
******
Workmate: What the fuck is that in your hair? A chocolate box ribbon? Nice shoes! – work Christmas party. I tend to get a little dressed up.
******
Too: Number 3 freaky neighbours!!!!!! – as I was driving out the driveway on my third trip of the morning (total today = 8 )
******
Me: Aren’t they new feet? – in reference to person hiding in the bushes across the street.
******
Conversation between me and my boss at the work Christmas lunch:
S: Oh look a Yummy Mummy!
Me: Nah, she is so hard faced.
S: Aren’t all Mummies?
Me: What about your wife?
S: Yeah. Hard faced.
Me: What about me?
S: I am going to get hurt now aren’t I?
******
Moo: Oh pretty! Can I have one? – about the packaging of my packet of tampons
******
My dad: What is that smell?
Boo: It was ME!!!!!! – 5 minutes before the blanket request.
******
Boo: Gawd Daymn! That’s Uranus!!! – while I was wiping his arse
******
My daughters in the bathroom:
Too: So I said ‘That tastes like arse’ and she is all ‘How do you know what arse tastes like?’ and I said ‘It’s like shit and sperm and Nanna’s cooking’
Moo: What! How do you know what sperm tastes like?
*thump* that was me falling on the floor…..
******
Moo: Men are so stupid. Don’t they know that ‘fine’ means no and if you take it you better protect your testicles….. – in reference to McDonalds ad where a guy asks for the last chicken nugget.
******
Workmate: I’m so tired!
Another workmate: Have you a death wish? Don’t say that near Kelley, she is wearing some lethal heels today.
******
Phone conversation between Too and I. Me at work and girls home. 9.30am
Me: Good, you are up. Wake up your sister and have something to eat and I will call back with what I need you to do today.
Too: OK, call around 10.30. I am planning on ignoring the phone around then.
******
Picking up MPS at train station. Notice a cut on his head.
Me: What happened to you?
MPS: I got hit in the head with a broom head.
Me: You what?
MPS: I was trying to close the roller door with a broom and the head fell off and hit me in the head.
Me: Too many heads. You are making me think dirty thoughts.
******
Me: Too can you put the bins out?
Too: Which ones?
Me: The red one and the green one.
Too: Which one is the red one?
******
Got a nice cheque in the mail.
Me: Mumma’s gettin’ her some new shoes!
Moo: ‘You are not African American mum.’ turns to Too ‘she is so white bread’
******
Coming out of Safeway and notice the car tyres.
Me: Looks like Mumma aint getting new shoes. Looks like the car is gettin’ new shoes…
******
And for your viewing pleasure I present you with todays shoes. These are my Christmas shoes. They sparkle!
I had the office enthralled with my toe less stockings. They honestly couldn’t get their heads around the fact I was wearing stockings…. and they were toe less. And that my nailpolish matched the shoes.
This is what I have to work with people! I didn’t bother showing them the matching handbag, lest their heads explode.
October 11, 2007
12 step commenting program
Posted by magneto bold too under ramblings | Tags: blogging, blogs, commenting, silly |[13] Comments
My name is Kelley and I am a comment junkie.
I cannot go to a blog and not comment. Even the really weird ones I come across, I have to at least say ‘thanks’. It’s only right in my twisted mind, for me to let them know I was there.
Cause I don’t want anyone thinking I was a stalker, or *gasp* rude.
I guess I have always been like this. Hear a conversation in the line at the supermarket, I will at least make eye contact and smile. I will strike up a conversation in line anywhere. At the deli counter. At the hospital, washing my hands in the ‘ladies’ (I draw the line at in the stalls, I know people that do that and that is just gross! Ooh there is a ‘gross’ comment for you DooDaddy! Not as gross as your kitchen though) My girls used to look at me in awe and say ‘Mummy you know everybody‘ their innocent eyes gazing up at me in wonder.
Now they just think I am mad.
But, tonight as I sit in Boo’s room on my laptop *stroking her lovingly* waiting for him to go to sleep, but he is seeing how far he can hold his drinkbottle away from his face and still get the water in his mouth, while singing the ‘Bacon bacon bacon’ McDonalds ad, I am in a state of panic.
My comments are not getting through.
They are disappearing into the ether.
And that means that I am visiting a blog without commenting.
Does anyone have an inhaler? A paper bag? I am hyperventilating.
I can’t comment.
I am getting to the point where I have so many blogs to read and feeling that I have to comment that I am getting rather overwhelmed. I am avoiding blogs that I love because I know that I will want to make a long winded comment and I don’t have time. So when I get there, there are so many to read, and comment on, and I don’t want to be rude, or a stalker and…….
Splat.
That was my head exploding.
As I said. My name is Kelley and I am a comment junkie. It has been 10 minutes since my last attempted comment. I have 4 windows open with 7 tabs each, full of blogs that I want to comment on, but I am too scared.
Scared that I will write a comment and it will disappear.
Perhaps I should be more concerned with the content of my comments, than the sheer number, eh?