now that I have eaten something. But taking it very very slowly and screaming at anyone that goes near the bathroom in case I need to do a mad dash!

Party blog is updated for those following my madness.

Tonight I am concentrating on Moo’s sweet sixteen faerie party. Apparently you have to spell it like that or you are an idiot.

Thanks Moo.  And you are a biatch and I am baking laxatives in your birthday cake.

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We have had a lovely couple of days. Freaking busy, but I think the kids have been happy.

Seems I scored with both kids getting them what they wanted.

And Boo didn’t ask once about his taxi and icecream freezer!

The kids have been playing outside together over the last couple of days and it has been hilarious. Boo has discovered ‘Charlies Angels’ and makes Moo and Too pose as Angels and he is Charlie.

And then they shoot each other with water pistols.

I have updated the party blog a couple of times tonight with photos of cakes and deco’s and the like. Pop over and have a look!

magneto bold too party

Now I am off to clear my bed of lots of shit from all over the house, curl up in bed and enjoy some aloneness until Boo decides to wake up or DH comes to bed!

But before I go, tomorrow is supposed to be hot and thunderstorms.  Remember my bitchy request to rain on that ferals daughters party?  Be a love and do the opposite for tomorrow will ya?  Just until about 5pm ish.  It can bucket down after that (preferably when the feral is getting out of her car…… bwaaa haaa haaa) just fine weather and not hot for the duration of Boo’s birthday extravaganza.

Oh and see if you can squeeze your deity for Boo to hold it together and not have a meltdown during the party?

Thanks.  Ta.

I can’t bear it. Just the thought of you being 16 makes me all weepy.

I look at you and I see a woman. We laugh, we joke, we share. Just like girlfriends. But then you look sad and my heart breaks. You attempt to curl up in my lap and I am transported back to when you were a little girl. Not someone 2 inches taller than me.

Last night, as usual, I wrapped my arms around you from behind. I put my face on your cool back and I could feel your heart beating. I hugged you tighter. Growing up is hard. But I didn’t realise how hard it would be for me. If I hug you from behind I can still pretend you are my little girl. The other way around I am suffocated by the physical evidence of you growing up.

I love our chats. Just sitting in the lounge, while I’m cooking dinner, driving in the car. I love that you tell me all the little things that have happened or what’s going on at school (see the apostrophe in ‘what’s’? You little grammar nazi? 🙂 ) and that you don’t feel like you need to ‘edit’ it for a parental. Just easy conversation. Something I wished I had with my mother. But sometimes I find it hard to fight the mummy instinct. Sometimes the primal lioness protecting her cubs rises up in me and I want to fight the world to protect you from any hurt. But I can’t. Your ‘boo-boo’s’ now cannot be fixed with a kiss and a bandaid.

But I am always here for you. I am always on your side. I breathe for you.

My first born. I was still so very much a little girl when I had you. 19 years old and thought I knew everything. Then you came along. We have grown up together.

I know sometimes you resent the fact that you need to ‘break me in’. You being my first child, you are the one that needs to test the waters and teach me to let go. I am too protective. I recognise that. But I think that also comes from the fact that my teenage years are still so clear, I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made. But you are a different person to me, more wise, more intelligent, more switched on. When you were born the nurses said ‘This one has been here before’, I thought them delusional.

Now I am not so sure.

You are so loving and caring to your siblings. No matter how much they drive you to distraction you forgive them anything. Boo has turned your life upside down, but you still turn to me and say ‘God, I love that kid’. That makes my heart swell with pride. Not because you love your brother, but because you see past the negative and honestly know that he means no harm. You see the good in him. You are not embarrassed when he screams the place down in a crowded store, you are more concerned about his welfare. I cannot say that I would have been the same at your age. You are much more mature than me.

Moo, your smile ignites my heart. Your happiness is my happiness. Your sorrow is mine, two fold. I tell you every day how much I love you, they are not just words.

You are an amazing wonderful person and I am so proud to say that I am your Mum.

Happy Birthday my beautiful girl.

Love,

Mummy

xx

***************

side note:  To see the letter to Too for her birthday look under ‘letters’. 

There will be a letter to Boo tomorrow. 

Every-freakin-where I look there are shoes.

Open the paper, shoes.

Turn on the TV, my favourite shoe boutique is calling me, the summer range is in!

Open my wardrobe….. yeah.

Boo’s shoes are in the lounge room, DH (negative form) in the hall.

What were the girls fighting about this sunny morning.

Shoes. Too turns to me. ‘Can I wear those black flats of yours?’

‘No!’ I practically banshee scream.

‘Why not? It is not as if you are going to wear them!’ Too turns to Moo, they fall about laughing.

‘Don’t make me hobble after you! Cause if I get you I will rip out your eyelashes!’

Too and Moo wiping the tears out of their eyes. Yeah, they are real funny…

‘Bring it, Hopalong!’ Moo squeals, doing a slow motion run. Too has to sit down she is laughing to so hard.

Biatches. I suppose I brought it on myself. I taught them to be smart mouths. I need to learn to take it as I dish it out.

So today I am home from work, Boo is home from school cause I can’t drive. Or wear shhooooeeesss!!!  He is driving me up the wall yelling at me to do this and that.

I am hobbling around like a crotchety old woman. With the demeanor to match.

Heaven help the telemarketers that call today…

Hello Mrs XXXX how are you today?

Oooooooh, well seeing you asked…..

Bwaaaa haaa haaaa.

This seems to be a continual theme in my life, so I created a whole new catergory for it! See? Over there in the sidebar? Oh, how I wish it wasn’t necessary….

First of all I need to explain the layout of our home. It is a relatively large place, but the majority of its largeness is centered in the living areas and the bathroom (yeah, what’s the deal with that! The previous owners in their wisdom thought, hey lets make the bathroom HUGE with a 3 person spa that is a pain in the arse to clean, with enough room around it to swing an elephant but the master bedroom so small that you can barely open the door when you chuck a queen sized bed in there) and the bedrooms are all squished down one end.

Our room is at the end, Boo’s room across the hall and then Too’s and then, finally Moo’s. Then down the hallway to the largeness of the living areas. Our bedroom window faces the neighbours lounge. So not much privacy, ifyouknowwhatImean, nudge nudge wink wink.

Anyway, after last nights conversation with the FIA girls about House starting back on Wednesday (Corr!!! Oh Hugh Laurie as House…..) Anthony the Blue Wiggle and Harrison Ford, and the prospect of DH starting back at work on Monday, I was feeling rather, ahem, amorous…..

With Boo sleeping (YEESSSS!!!) and Too away for the weekend, we took the opportunity to perform our marital duties. Now this could possibly be toooooo much information, but it is an important part of my sorry tale. I am not the quietest of people in these situations. What can I say? It’s a gift. A gift that DH is thankful for, especially to the guy that I keep talking to throughout……

So after a lovely nights sleep, I wander out of bed and sit down with a cuppa to read my bloglines.

Moo wanders out and looks at DH.

‘What time did you go to bed last night?’

‘Oh, about 3, I couldn’t sleep so I came out to watch TV for a while so I didn’t disturb your mother’ NOTHING would have disturbed me, I was sleeping the sleep of the dead exhausted *snigger* and snoring like a truck changing gears….. apparently.

‘I couldn’t sleep either’ dark look at DH ‘ I went to sleep around 2’

*choke*

I stare at my keyboard, not seeing the words swimming before me. I compose myself.

‘Why couldn’t you sleep, babe?’ I cooly ask. Well I hope it was cooly…..

‘Oh cause I slept in yesterday, so I stayed up reading.’ She is not looking me in the eye.

Trying desperately to save face. ‘You really shouldn’t spend that long with your Ipod in you know, it will hurt your ears’ Please, please GOD! Please tell me you had your Ipod on!!!

‘Nah, I wasn’t listening to my Ipod’.

Shit.

She leaves the room.

I turn to DH in absolute horror. ‘Do you think she heard us?’ I whisper

DH (the negative form) snickers. ‘You were pretty loud. I expect the neighbours will bring us a fruit basket as thanks for the night time entertainment’

Shit.

Excuse me while I go back and hide in that cupboard.

But while I am there, please PLEASE someone share their equally embarrassing tale of getting caught out by children, especially teens, to make me feel a little bit better? Gunna have to wear those red heels all week to compliment the shade of my face.

Sorry, had to dig myself out of the mountains of tissues and snot and self pity. Dragged my sorry arse out of bed this morning at 6am after hacking up a lung half the night. In at work at 7am to catch up on some work that was desperately behind and my bosses boss was screaming for me to finish. Got everything I needed to get done in 6 hours and then came home. But maybe if I had this:

I could have saved some time and made it home earlier.

Anyway. The good news.

Firstly, Moo had a wonderful time at camp, not that you could really call it a camp. They went to the city for 4 days and shopped. A few other things were chucked in, but primarily it was about the shopping. It was good practice for the boys. They got to hold the girls bags and sit in the corner forlornly while the girls giggled and tried clothes on. Get used to it guys! Felt for the teachers though. 80 kids, aged 15-17.

But the best part is Moo bought me a present.

RED HEELS!!! The girls got taste. I love them!

And secondly. The big news in this household this week…… Drumroll please……

DH got offered a job. They called him! He hasn’t even finished his Cert IV yet. It is just casual, but that means that he can ease himself back into the workforce and still finish his course. That, on top of the semi regular DJ work he has been getting we might even get ahead!

It took a good 2 days for it to really sink in. It really might be over. The last 2 – 3 years have been so HARD. Every now and then I would look at DH and wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I would just mouth ‘a job in IT’ and he would laugh and I would cough up a lung.

Things could just be looking up. Oh please, let it be true.