And so did Boo.

I think…..

I slept so hard that:

I didn’t hear MPS snoring.

The doona was still tucked in when I woke.

I had an imprint of the crease in the pillowcase on my face for a freaking HOUR after I got up.

My ear was asleep.

That when the alarm went off I thought the light was on and it was sunshine coming through the window!  Through the still open blinds….. Good morning freaky neighbours!

And in my semi conscious state I flew out of bed to check on Boo and ran into the wardrobe door.

And it didn’t hurt.

And I was smiling.  And happy.  And thanking the internets for their sleep-you-little-bastard vibes.

So with a skip in my step and fabulous black knee high boots I kicked some serious arse at work.

And my biatch (AKA my boss) bought me coffee.  Cause I scared him yesterday.

Bwaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaa

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Don’t forget to vote for me as a hottie and best parenting blog *snort*.  The buttons are over there>>>>>

I am on page 4!  Whoot! 

Two posts in a row where I am not pissed with someone. That has to be some sorta record or something. Wonder if this means I will keep my potty mouth in check.

Fuck no.

Well I have had a very eventful week which I will bullet point for your reading pleasure.

  • Week off from work. Cause my boss lurves me. Bliss….
  • Boo went on his first school excursion without me. And had a ball! All the parents that went along took photos of my little man, cause they all love him!
  • Found out who Boo’s teacher and aide are for next year. Shhhhhh, I am not supposed to know yet. But I am very very VERY happy!
  • Won a competition over at All for Women. A fantabulous 48 page photobook from Click on print to give to my brother in the Navy AKA The Golden Child.
  • Almost finished my Christmas shopping for the kids
  • Made the top 200 bloggers (by the skin of my teeth!) and top 50 Aussie Women Bloggers.
  • Dressed as a Ninja and cracked myself up
  • Got pampered and caught up with all the gossip while getting a FABULOUS haircut that I lurve, lurve LURVE!!! Less than three, Sebastian, less than three….
  • Got this fabulous bit of bling from Ree the Hotfessional llama.jpg and will pass it on to LA Daddy cause I gave him some bling eons ago and he came looking for it the other day. And because I am a lazy biatch, I will just fling him some new bling. AND it was his birthday party yesterday and he managed to get his boss to cater. I bow to your awesomeness LA Daddy, cause although mine is my biatch, he usually only gets me coffee. Oh and Diesel, cause he asked so nicely *snigger* and cause his blog rocks . (and I am supposed to say that this bling originated at Simplycuriousgirl)
  • I bought coffee 4 times this week. And it was worth it. Mmmmmmmm.
  • Got nominated again for Hottest Mommy Blogger and Best Parenting Blog at the Bloggers Choice Awards *snort* So vote for me biatches. You know you want to. Click on the linkies in the sidebar or right here. I don’t care just vote for me. I know you have to register and shit, but c’mon I dressed like a Ninja and make you spurt liquid outta ya noses….
  • Lost a kilo. Minutes after my haircut. Yeah, there was that much hair. Went from super freaking long and heavy to lighter and just super long. Without the freaking. Oh and I don’t know if I have mentioned but I lurve lurve LURVE it….
  • Woke to brown murals all over the walls and it wasn’t shit! It was chocolate. Woulda licked the walls clean but I was pretty sure those hands were up some bodily crevice before hand.
  • Although Boo is in his sleep-is-an-optional-extra phase again, he is staying in his room. Might have a little weeny bit to do with I am not leaving any lights on in the rest of the house any more and he is too freaking scared to leave his room. *Slaps head* WHY didn’t I think of that years ago!!!!
  • Got an email from the fabulously freaky Kim who has been trying to nominate my post ‘Letter to my neighbours’ for the, and I quote, ‘aussie post thingy at Club Troppo’ and keeps getting an error message. *smootch* babe, just that you have tried over and over makes me less than three ya more!
  • Bullet points are fun. I could go on and on but then you will forget to vote for me as a Hottie. Cause I soooo wanna be a hottie.

So till tomorrow when I find someone to despise or ridicule I will leave you in the warm glow of Kelley being happy.

And another Christmas tree…

loungeroom-tree.jpg

This is the lounge tree. Yes it is still leaning. Goddamnit!

She’s a fucking yo yo.

The last few days have been bizarre.

One minute I am rejoicing, the next I wanna string a noose in the yard. I am getting so confused that I am starting to look like the Joker from Batman (Jack Nicholson Joker thankyouverymuch) and people are starting to stare.

All scared like.

Like I’m gunna snap.

And I could too…… just look into my eyes….

But I wont. I will bury it deep, like I always do and now add to the mix, blathering on my blog. Oh you lot are great therapists. Just don’t expect to be paid. Mummy needs shoes remember……

Right now Boo is looking for my purse. Yeah again. Just like he did a few weeks ago, when I played positive spin day. Not playing today. Cause the last few days have just been freakin’………. Oh. MY. FUCKING.GOD he found it..

Talk amongst yourselves or whatever it is you do while alone sitting in front of a computer….

Yeah brilliant. You little – OK what were my new words that you lovelies have taught me? –

Asshat, twat, fucker, knob, fucktard…..

Nah, can’t use ’em. Lets just call him a little shit. He has just emptied my purse on the floor. Thankfully (hmm mebee not) it it full of receipts and not alotta cash. But the kid has just chopped up a $10 note.

Well that’s your dinner, you bastard. I hope it is tasty!

OK, now what was I whinging about? Oh that’s right. Boing, Boing, freakin’ yo yo….

So many things have happened in the last few days my head is spinning. Fabulous, wonderful, fantastic, about-freaking-time, things and God-take-me-now-before-I-hurt-someone shit.

I won’t bore you all with the gory details but will share some good stuff while Boo is screaming in his room. Tomorrow I am getting a fucking lock and some padding for the walls…..

In the meantime, paste on your Joker smile and rejoice with me….

Boo is on day 7 of gluten filled food with no real symptoms. Boo started off allergic (intolerant) to the world. Slowly but surely he has been ‘growing out’ of it. The last vestiges of the insanity were soy, gluten, milk and salicylates. Soy is OK now, as are moderate salicylate, but aspirin apparently will never be OK, neither will milk. Once he accidentally got into some milk at school and the teacher had to run to the shops to get industrial strength air freshener. And a gas mask.  Yeah, anyway, will find out in a couple of months when he has the biopsy on whether he is actually coeliac or has grown out of a gluten intolerance. Please God, Allah, Goddess, Jean Luc Picard…. make it so!

DH is loving his new job.

I was a good little housewife and haven’t been on line at all much today.

Boo’s language has been exploding. He is saying many more words and I can’t tell if they are direct take off’s (mitigated echolalia for those in the know) of TV show or not. Or *gasp* his own words!

I was home alone ALL DAY today. Bliss

and the bestest, wrapped in fabulousness, freakin’ awesome thing?

DH got his pay slip. I nearly fainted. He worked 4 days and earn’t more money than when he was the manager at his last station!

AND they want him to work as many hours as he can until AT LEAST the end of November.

AND they want him to continue with his studies and giving him time to do it at work.

AND DH is loving his new job. I know I said that before. But it is just un- freakin – believable.

I have to keep slapping myself. And I am smiling so hard I can’t feel my cheeks.

 

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If you are new to this blog be sure to read the ‘magneto bold family’ at the top of the blog. Up there, above the coffee beans…. See? Then read this post again and you might actually understand why I am so excited.