Just got back from a Carers function.
If I didn’t feel like slitting my wrists before, now I do.
Hobbled in the door and met up with a couple of girlfriends, H and K, laughing and giggling and ribbing me with ‘hop along’ yada yada. Found my old case manager and had a few laughs with her and then we were all seated.
Let the whinging begin.
Freaking hell. No wonder no one wants to hear about carers, their all a pack of sad sacks. For an hour and a half all we heard was ‘Poor me’, ‘My life is worse than yours’, ‘Oh, if you think THAT is bad…..’, ‘I want, want WANT’ Gimme-fucking-gimme.
If these people just stopped complaining and took a breath, maybe they could get some help.
Yes, our lives are hard. Yes, we didn’t choose to live this way. Yes, it is not freakin’ fair. But if you just concentrate on the negatives then yes, your life sucks.
Halfway through the chicks speech (and they held off the food till we heard about how horrible our lives were as to lose our appetite) there is an announcement. ‘If you parked inside the yellow line out the back you need to move your car now, or you will get a $66 fine’.
Guess where I parked?
So I hobbled out there, drove around for a few minutes to park somewhere else, MILES away from the venue and practically crawled back in there. To find a guy sitting in the seat next to me that I had my foot up on.
You know when you see a familiar face and you smile and say hello and then in that milli second you realise WHY you know that face? And that person is probably the last person you would ever want to spend time with? Yeah. That was him. I saw him when I initially hobbled in. Now my dinner buddy.
The woman droned on, the whingers droned on. I turned to H and said ‘Do you reckon we get razor blades to go with our meal, cause I could do with one right now’
Dark look from the speaker
Speaker says ‘So after all that, how do you feel?’
H turns to me ‘Sucicidal?’
Speaker finally finishes up and the food is served. Asshat next to me gets the chicken, I get the beef. ‘Would you mind swapping? I don’t eat red meat.’ I sweetly request. ‘No’ he spits and then goes on to bend my ear about how horrible his life is with his child and how much his school sucks and how he keeps writing formal complaints to the Education Dept and the school hate him. Shit, I hate him too and I barely know him!
I escape to the loo. I make a coffee and try and walk back with it. An INSTANT coffee with full fat milk! I am that desperate. I turn my freaking back on him to TRY and have a less depressing conversation for a change.
He starts whispering in my ear.
I am not going to escape. I give in and try and help him. Every suggestion gets a condescending look and brushed off. I am going to strangle this fucking man and then who is going to pick Boo up from school while I am languishing in jail? But I have heard they have cable TV….. hmmmm.
Then the rest of the table gets in on the act. They hate their school, they hate their teachers, they hate hate hate.
Swap schools I suggest. No, to inconvenient. Speak to the teacher. No cause when the TELL them to do things they don’t do it RIGHT. OR they don’t even know the teachers freaking NAME!!!
Do the teachers do anything you like? Yeah. Do you tell them, thank them? No! That is their job!
I stare into my sticky date pudding. Word is out that there is a chick that will listen to your whinging and they engulf me like zombies looking for brains.
‘Help me. Do this. Fix this. Your life couldn’t possibly be as bad as mine….’
I am drowning in a sea of negativity.
H looks at me and makes a cutting motion on her wrist. I fall about in giggles.
One particularly pathetic specimen looks at me in disgust. ‘Why are you so happy?’
I look her directly in the eye and say ‘Cause I don’t choose to dwell on the negative. My life is not defined by my sons disability nor my caring role. I choose to see my son as my child and not a child with Autism. And I try to see the funny side in every situation.’
These people just don’t get it. Be a horrible demanding piece of negative shit and no one will want to help you. A little bit of praise goes a long way.
Now I am totally shattered. I need a bottle of red and a straw. I need a shower to wash off the negativity and anger.
I need to get some good tunes going in the car while I pick up my Boo. That kid can smell despair from a mile away.
As I was walking to my car to leave a woman stopped me, the I-hate-my-kids-teacher-but-I-don’t-know-her-name drop kick.
‘Are you going on the Shopping Tour on the weekend?’
‘Why not? It’s a fundraiser!’ for her kids school, the one I wanted Boo to go to but he can’t.
‘Poverty’ I call over my shoulder as I limp to my car
She turns to her friend. ‘Yeah, sure. I have seen the shoes she wears…. she aint poor’
I smile to myself. It’s all about appearances baby.