I am tired. We are on night 4 of the fucking stealth ninja moves (AKA Boo wandering around the house and keeping me up! Ninja day is TOMORROW Boo….. shiiiiite)

Any way. A quickie tonight, not a longie. Any one guess what movie that is paraphrased from? It is obscure, like me…. but here is a hint, it is about a vampire. The line is ‘No. With you never a quickie, always a longie.’

Yeah, I’ve had some wine. Can you tell *snigger*

I am glad that everyone else is as pissed at Blogger as I am. I have seen a few posts saying that people using other blogging platforms are just bitching because they are not getting the ‘link’. Asshats. Betcha those biatches would be the first to bitch if their pretty little avi’s disappeared…

But as a whole, there is a shit load of bloggers up in arms about this little scheme of Blogger. Meg the amazing has another post up with more information. Pop over there and have a look, oh and tell her I sent you cause then she will lurve me *smirk*

Now everyone is waiting with bated breath (WTF does that mean, you smell like fish heads? Wiggling dying worms? Ewwy. Go brush your teeth) to hear the fate of the Bathroom Tree™. Well as the inmates went all girly on me I relented and took the gorgeous tree out of the bathroom. It is now in the hall

hallway-tree.jpg

Isn’t it purdy? The door on the left is my room and the right is Boo’s so we get the scent of Christmas all night long. Mmmmmm

But you didn’t think I would let the bastards off that easily did you?  Scarlett needs her tree as God as her witness remember? So here is the bathroom tree.

bathroom-tree2.jpg

Fuckers have moved it over. But I got em back. Oh yes I did, dear internets. They now have the pleasure of tinkling while they tinkle. See those ‘baubles’?

They are BELLS!!! Just brush past the tree slightly and the sound of bells echoes through the house! Bwaaaa haaaa haaaaa!

Teach em to mess with me and my tree.  Now I need some wine induced sleep.

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Comments are still open to think of a new name for Mario-porn-star.  Well at least until I work out how to do a poll on this blog so you can vote properly.  Meg?  Snoskred?  Help a chick out?  Again? 

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Arseholes.

I have just spent the last 2 hours visiting some of your blogs. But my speed was hindered by the fact that fucking Blogger has changed the commenting rules.

Bastards.

When I visit your blog I want you to know that it was me. Some of you know me as Kelley, some as Magnetobold. So when I go to your blog you just need to click on the name to see ‘who the fuck is Kelley?’ and realise it is that mad Magnetobold chick without the Christmas scented nether regions.

But you can’t now can you.

Cause fucking Blogger changed the rules. So I have to manually add my blog addy, instead of just typing ‘H’ and it comes up.

Rat-fuck-son-of-a-bitch.

It is pissing me off no end. But there is a solution!!!! Yay for solutions!!!!

After chatting to Meg and Ree and posting to the WordPress forums I can give you Blogger bloggers a solution to stop me (and other commenters, cause they might be important to you..) getting my knickers in a knot.

Meg the amazing pointed me to this post where people were discussing the problem.

Ree uses this commenting form,

It is Haloscan. And the added bonus is commenters need to provide an email addy (like with WordPress that is never revealed to anyone but the blogger) so you can privately contact someone if need be, or if you prefer. IT ROCKS!!

So come on guys, stop Blogger from taking the option of linking to blogs that are not Blogger and also trying to get us all to register blogger blogs and check out Haloscan.

Or come over to WordPress 🙂

yeah, this thing has been holding me back.

What about BlogEveryHourWeek or HowMuchCrapCanYouTypeInOneDayMonth?

Actually today I am rather proud of myself. I didn’t have to resort to endless memes, nothing posts (well except maybe this one, but a bird was terrified by a fart, so it was something) or just linking to blogs I like. Which is what I was afraid I would do….

And looks like I must be doing something right cause today this little blog debuted in the top 200 Australian blogs! Oh. My. Freaking. Gawd. Not something I was expecting after only being around just over 3 months! Pop over to Megs blog Dipping in the Blogpond to see the others. I am number 199 or something *snort*

Thankyou my lovelies, I feel special!

So now what I want you to do (besides thinking of a name for Mario-porn-star) is click on that button over there ‘add this blog to my technorati favourites’ and then go and claim your blog. Helps us both out apparently. Makes my little number go up as well as yours and you too could be dancing around the loungeroom manically squealing ‘In your face, In your face, I am a Suuuuuperstaaaaaaaar!’ or something similar while the boy and the bunny look at you like you are insane.

The boy who is nekid and fondling the next tooth he is planning to extract and the bunny who we think has Tourettes. They are judging me……

I told Mario-porn-star. He was flabbergasted that people would actually want to read my blog. Seeing it is just about cooking and housework *gaffaw*. Might actually come clean with him one day.

I told my girlfriend H.  She looked at me incredulous and said ‘You have a blog?’  Oh. Right.  I forgot.  I haven’t told anyone I know in real life about this little thing…..

So this potty mouthed, fab shoe wearing, coffee ho is a happy little chicky tonight, loving the peeps in cyberland.

I went to a blog today. Not a blog that I would normally frequent, but the person commented here so I wandered on over.

I remembered that I commented on a previous post and thought I would see if there was a reply.

And my comment was not there.

I know I commented. The blogger was asking for advice. I gave my opinion. In a very nice no-swearing-involved way. But perhaps not what she wanted to hear?

That has pissed me off.

If you put a question out to the blogosphere, you are asking for opinions. You will get ones that don’t necessarily align with your views.

But you suck it up.

I could be a biatch and say who this person was and their pathetic desperate attempt at more readers question. But you know who you are. I will not bother to comment on your blog again. My time is worth more than that. I have people to despise and shoes to drool over.

OK. Got that off my chest. Feel better now. Will do a proper *snort* post later.

But for your entertainment here is the lunch box that Boo has made me.

lunch-box-outside.jpg

Yes, a huge freaking storage box.

lunchbox-inside.jpg

The sandwich is ham, mustard, pepper, cheese, mayo and the lettuce from the rabbits cage. I am soooooo freaking thankful that I saw him get that lettuce. I am trying to distract him so I can chuck out the sandwich.

I am NOT eating that shit. Nup. I have done it before but not when it has rabbit spit all over it.

Monday marked my 3 month obsession with foray into the blogosphere. Over this time I have had some burning questions that I haven’t asked because 1. I didn’t know who to ask, 2. I was worried it would sound silly asking basic questions and C. well I am a lazy biatch.

So here I am, cap in hand, asking my internet lovelies to help a chick out.

Comments:

Well you are all well aware of my comment addiction. I have that little button on the sidebar that says I follow if you comment. And I do, religiously. But what if the person I am visiting has it too? When does ‘I follow’ become ‘I am stalking you’?

Some bloggers answer comments in their own comments, some reply personally, some do a weekly wrap up answering questions and acknowledging their peeps and others still seem to all but ignore their commentors. Besides the last one, which do you prefer? I tend to comment on a blog and unless they have one of those thingymagigies that emails you every time there is a new comment I would never know if the blogger replied to what I said.

And that brings me to the next question. How do you do one of those thingmagigies on a WordPress blog? How do you turn it on and off on other blogs?

Blogrolls:

Who is on your blogroll? Do you have one? I have been thinking of having a stalker blogroll (my lovelies who comment) if you think that is a good idea let me know and I will pop you on it, and promise not to slap an AVO on ya.

Do you list everyone on your Bloglines (or insert feed reader here) or just the people you read regularly?

How do you find out if you are on someone elses blogroll? Do you reciprocate? Even if it is a freaking weird arse blog you would not normally read?

Buttons:

There are a shit load of buttons out there, technorati, bloglines, google reader (devil spawn I know Meg!) are the only ones I have. Are there others that I should have to add to your reading experience? Cause you know I am all about pleasing the peeps.

Now cause I am all about pleasin’ the peeps I will stop with the questions and present you with todays shoe selection. Freakin’ hot = shoes I can slip off quick.

red-summer-shoes.jpg

Today we went to Officeworks, those that have been stalking me playing along at home will know that we normally go to Officeworks on a Monday, but this week we mixed it up a bit due to some other commitments. As we were leaving one of the staff came up to me. I am thinking ‘Shit, here it is. Don’t come back here anymore, we don’t want you sitting on the office chairs and making the place look untidy.’

Officeworks chick: ‘Excuse me, can I ask you a personal question?’

Me: (thinking) Here we go, she is going to ask what is wrong with Boo and then tell me that she has a cousin/nephew/neighbour/cousins-brothers-babys-daddy with Autism and then I will be roped into counseling another freaking family and it is so fucking hot I don’t wanna think about anything but mopping up the river of sweat between my breasticles and standing naked in front of the airconditioner…. ‘Sure’

Officeworks chick: ‘How many pairs of shoes do you have? I have been watching you everytime you come in for the last year and you always have the most gorgeous shoes on! I really love the red boots’

Me: ‘Not that many, but what I have I love’

Officeworks chick: ‘Well you have great taste in shoes. Can’t wait to see what you are wearing next week!’

I walked out happy. Got me another stalker.

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Now please don’t get all excited about the fabulousness of the shoes and forget to help me out with my very serious questions! 

Feeling the love of the internets today.

Meg at Blogpond linked to me saying that I use ‘colourful language’. And she gave me this pretty little button (only because I said I loved it!)

winner1.gif

Ask and ye shall receive.

I want a burgundy 7 seater car please. Preferably with leather seats. And shoes, lots of pretty shoes.

Andrew from On Blogging Australia profiled this blog and said that I have a ‘slightly earthy sense of humour’ And then he brought out the ‘colourful language’ line as well.

See a pattern here?

How about just saying it guys? I am a potty mouthed, fabulous shoe wearing, attention whore. And you love me for it!

White Trash Mom commented on ‘Will you do the fandango?’ and called me officially White Trash. Oh the honour!

VE from VE’s Fantastical Nonsense helped me out immensely on how to market fecal murals. Will be dedicating my memoirs ‘A shit load of cash’ to VE for starting the fecal mural movement. (see that? poo-word-poo, oh I am a 5 year old boy….. seriously)

Veronica and Karen tagged me for memes. I am working on them tonight while trying to put the little bastard to sleep and will have them up over the weekend. I promise!

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Still taking recipes suggestions for names for the bunny we are getting tomorrow…..

Boo is home today.

Boo is not in a good mood.

Boo is an arsehole.

Boo is now in his room contemplating WHY he shouldn’t beat up his mother.

Shit.

I am in the lounge.

I am nursing my wounds.  He only punched me a few times in the arm and head butted me.  But shit it hurt!

We were attempting to make jelly,  he was not agreeing with the amount of boiling hot water that was needed.  He tried to throw it.  I stopped him.  He took exception to that.

I am taking solace in the internet and coffee and  a family block of chocolate.

I joined NaBloPoMo,  a post a day for the month of November.  I wonder if I can manage that *snort*

nablopomo.jpg

AND I worked out HTML all by myself and put the badge on my sidebar.  The badges on the site have flash or whatever in them so can’t be supported on WordPress.  But I got around it and now I have a pretty new button!   All while listening to Boo tear his room apart in a rage and my arms burning.

So if you click on it you will go to my NaBloPoMo page.

I really truly rock you know.  I do.