Seems these days you have to fill out a freaking form for everything.

Except to have kids.

Any fuckwit can go get up the duff and completely screw up a child and raise the next Charles Manson/Osama Bin Laden/Britney Spears.

But I digress….

Last year I received this in the mail from Santa.

Fat bastard needs this before he will deign to come down my non-existent chimney.


So you better get your forms in quick people. If it is not stamped and filed by his little minions in time, little Johnny and Sarah will be baying for your blood come Christmas morning…… and the only blood I wanna see come Christmas morning is in my Bloody Mary….

So print it, get your little people to fill it out and hand it to your local shopping mall Santa.

And make sure you can see his hands at all times.……

here is the easier to read pdf version: santaform.pdf