Stuff about Boo


This is what greeted me this morning.

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He had the stealth ninja moves goin’ on BIG TIME to do this sorta desctruction so quietly.

1st photo: After ramming the door open this is what was on the floor. His bookshelf is behind the door. Really need to go through his books! Under the door of the wardrobe is a yellow laminated schedule for school. The rest of them are ripped to shreds. And STICKERS ON THE WALL!!! Where did the stickers come from?????

2nd photo: Bedding on the floor and the blow up mattress (my bed too many nights than I care to think about) on his bed.. It makes it bouncier! The green lounge where I sit most nights waiting for him to sleep and where I write most of my insanity. You can’t see in the photo but the seat cover is ripped now. The drawers opened and emptied…

The room was freaking SPOTLESS when the little turd went to sleep.

Together this morning while I was supervising him in the bath, we sang our own version of his current obsessional song – Bohemian Rhapsody.

Boo in blue, me in red (rather appropriate doncha think!) together in black

I see a big mess in Boo’s bedroom,
No you don’t No you don’t will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening mum-
Mummy angry, Mummy Angry
Mummy angry, Mummy Angry
Mummy angry, figaro-magnifico-
But Im just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
Hes just a poor boy with a trashed bedroom-
Spare him his life from this ang-ry Mummeeeeee-
Easy come easy go-,will you tidy up
Bismillah! no-,I will not clean my room-
Bismillah! I will not clean my room-clean your room!
Bismillah! I will not clean my room-clean your room!
I will not clean my room-clean your room!
I will not clean my room-clean your room!
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia clean my room-

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-

Now if we could go through life like a musical my boy would be KING! I expect he will have all the kids lined up at school teaching them this today.

Mel from Freak Parade‘s post about her son shaving his butt with her razor prompted me to share that Boo has found every freaking hiding spot for my toothbrush.

Those are not hip with the happening thang. Boo likes to scrub his arse with my toothbrush. Everyone elses brushes are out on the counter in a lovely little ceramic pot that my grandfather made me. Mine? It is now…. wait… I’m not telling you. You might let it slip to Boo, cause you want my breath to smell like arse.

So these are the directions for a squeaky clean arse, according to Boo.

1. Make sure Mummy is really REALLY busy or is on the computer…

2. Enter bathroom and lock the door. QUIETLY. If Mum hears the door being locked she will come running.

3. Take a doona with you. Ensure it is one that has just been disinfected.
4. Take a freaking HUGE dump in the toilet. Ensuring to spray all sides of the toilet.

5. Unroll a couple of rolls of toilet paper. Chew up a few and throw on the roof (distraction tactics)

6. Finish doing the business and wipe arse on doona and towels and wall.

7. Bring out mums toothbrush that you found from its hiding spot.

8. With one leg resting on the side of the bath proceed to scrub arse.

9. When mum opens the door, look at her incredulously saying ‘whaaaaat??’

10. Then say ‘Oh Sorry’ like you don’t really mean it and continue with the arse scrubbing while Mummy races to the sink to scrub her mouth out and put toothbrushes on the emergency shopping list.

Kid is a bastard. An adorable, cuddly little spawn of the devil.

Just got home from work. Home early to clean up and open the windows to get rid of the smell of excrement before picking up Boo.

Got an email saying my blog looked different and ‘Aren’t you doing NaBloPoMo anymore?’

Huh?

I look at my blog (how many of you actually look at your own blogs? I hardly ever do!)

And everything on the sidebar is GONE!

And the tiny terrorist was puttin’ on the stealth Ninja moves last night.

And the widgets page was open…..

You connect the shit covered dots. Cause they are not gettin’ cleaned off the walls right now…. my blog, my baby, she is broken! And the HTML that I worked out all by my self is gone and I have to try and work the fucker out again….

So I am sitting here tearing my freaking hair out cause I cannot for the life of me remember what was on my blog in the first place and a comment comes in about a post I did aaages ago.

Hmm, methinks, what is all that about?

And it turns out that Girl, my wonderful Girl of the teach-Kelley-new-swear-words gang at Fertile Mertile has awarded me a perfect post award for Sleep. The whingy post I did about Boo not sleeping and flinging insults at the internets.

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I have no idea why she thought that was a perfect post. My fav post is Letter to my Neighbours, only because every time I see that kid next door I picture her Polly pocket….. Bwaaaa Haaaaa Haaaaa!!

But she did and she gave me an award. Thank you Girl.  I am overwhelmed.

And then I remembered. I have another blog bling given to me by Three Ring Circus.

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Yeah, I am a little late for Halloween… but treats are year round aren’t they! And she said the sweetest things about me *blush*  I have to tag others.  So consider yourself tagged.  I always share my treats with everyone!

And Lightening tagged me for the Picture Me Meme just to see my shoes *swoon* shoes…..

Will take photos of them tonight.

Oh happy day.

AND THEN the phone rings. DH has been offered ANOTHER JOB. Two companies are fighting over him now and he hasn’t even completed his IT course. The second job was offered after DH did work experience there yesterday.

So despite the blog being hacked, and the solidifying fecal murals, today is a good day!

I will be thinking of these things as I am knee deep in fairy cakes this evening readying for Moo’s birthday party tomorrow.

I hate the start of Daylight Savings.

Scratch that.  I HAAAATE Daylight Savings.

I don’t care that the extra hour of sunlight will kill the plants or fade the curtains or wake the cows early and curdle the milk.  I hate the fact that it will now take ANOTHER FUCKING HOUR for Boo to go to sleep.  His internal clock is permanently set on ‘awake’.

‘Get your feet off the wall’

Now I am lamenting that I let him play outside for that extra freaking hour – yes Daylight Savings gives an extra HOUR to play in the freaking mud – and then couldn’t be bothered giving him a shower just a wipe down (cause he has to shower in the mornings due to nocturnal mictruition) and now I have foot prints on the walls.

‘Put it down’

As he pulls a book from under his bed.

‘Give me that car.  It’s sleep time’

Where the hell did that come from?  He didn’t have it in the bed.  I know it wasn’t there cause I had to change the sheets before he went to bed cause he used them as toilet paper five minutes before.

‘Lay down properly.  It is nearly 11.30.’

But in his little melatonin diminished brain it is only still early.  So par-tay on.

‘Get your hand out of Pikachu’s eye and GO. TO. SLEEP’

Boo has a soft Pickachu bedhead that I made him.  Over the years he has picked the stuffing out of the eyes.  And eaten it.

Interesting when you are wiping his arse and stuffing comes out.

I am so tired.  That bone tiredness that makes your brain all fuzzy and your mouth feel like the morning after a big night out.  My body is aching to go to sleep and Boo is doing the Macarena.

‘Leave my feet alone’

He is now resting his head on my feet.

‘Lay down properly Boo or so help me….’

giggle ‘Help you what Mummy?’

‘Don’t worry.  Just go to sleep!  Please, Boo, please.  Go. To.  SLEEP.

He is manically giggling.  Bouncing around the room.  I have tomorrow off work as a rec day.  Gunna waste my day that I was going to spend cleaning (oh the joys of a working mother, rec days are for deep cleaning) walking around like a zombie.  Or worse still, with Boo home.

‘Get our foot out of Pikachu’s ear!’

Oh God, someone, get this kid to sleep!

He has stopped moving.  He is still.  Is he….. asleep?  Or has he passed out from choking on some of the the Pokemon pupil?  Do I dare check?

A faint snore.

Oh.  He is asleep.  And it is only midnight.  Better hightail it outta here and jump into bed cause who knows what time he will start the all-singing-all-dancing one man show again.

The party is over.

One more to go, but six days to recover.

Boo had a wonderful time. The kids were well behaved. A couple I wanted to strangle. A couple I want to adopt. 10 kids didn’t show, 6 had tummy bugs and their parents called to apologise –WOW – one mum went as far as popping over before the party to say J wasn’t coming but here is Boo’s present anyway……. How cool is that!

27 kids. 5 surly teenagers until the 6 month old baby came, then marshmallows in Emo garb. 4 adults. 3 conversations with the ‘ferals’ – one of them is growing a freaking BEARD! So I asked her how she liked my t-shirt. Bwaaaa haaa haaa!

Everyone but T had a good time. T is a tiny little dynamo, blindingly street smart with amazing blue eyes. She drives me nuts sometimes she is so freaking adult, but I love the kid. She was having a good time until I had to tell her off. She was on the trampoline with a boy and beating the living shit out of him.

It was a fun wrestling game that quickly got out of hand after she had eaten her body weight in unicorn turds (aka mini meringues). She was physically picking him up and body slamming him down. The boy (also T) was trying to save face cause T is half his size. But enough was enough. I ended up having to scream at T to get off him.

He’s all like ‘It didn’t hurt’,  ‘I’m OK’,  ‘I let her do it’ (so brave for a 7 year old) limping into the house trying to hide his tears. I sat T down and told her that she really shouldn’t do that cause she could get hurt one day when someone fights back.

‘Don’t worry Kelley, I can take care of myself’

Damn right she can. She scares me!

So T spent the rest of the party sulking. Refusing cake, icypoles and further turns on the trampoline. She sat out the potions class and pretended to be unimpressed with the teens ‘exploding’ experiments. Oh, it was so wife-pissed-off-at-husband-get-back-by-punishing-myself, I was stunned.  And amused.

Boo got some amazingly thoughtful gifts, adorable cards (lots of ‘you are a good friend’, ‘I love you’, ‘we are best friends’ handwritten cards *sob*) and some what-the-fuck presents.

The 2 blocks of DAIRY MILK chocolate from the woman I was lamenting having to do everything dairy free to and she gave me a fucking RECIPE. WTF?

This make your own animation thingy that plugs into the TV…. oooh it is so cool! AMAZING!

A dirty ball. You could have fucking washed it first before re-gifting dickhead. WTF

The mum that called from out the front to ask what to buy Boo….. I told her $5 in a card is perfect. She walked in the door 1 minute later, $10 in a generic card……. LMAO

Tons of artist supplies. Pens, paper, paints, sketch pads, textas, crayons, artist canvas, coloured pencils, charcoal….. Boo will be set for at least a month 🙂 BRILLIANT

The weather was perfect. A little warm but the rain held off. Thank you everyone for doing those little anti rain dances for me.

After everyone had gone and Boo had enough time to decompress, he came to me.

‘You know what Mummy?’

‘What my Boo?’

‘It was a great party’

‘Yes it was precious. Did you have a good time’

‘I did. Fun was had by all’

Yes, indeed. Everything was so worth it just to have that conversation with my Boo.

You rock Boo. Now it is 10.30pm, get the fuck to sleep.

***************

I will update the party blog with more details and photos over the next couple of days. Right now I have a hot date with a huge glass of red and a footspa.

My Boo is too cute.

This morning he asked if I was hungry.

He has decided to make me breakfast.

First of all the sandwich.

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Cheese, butter (yes those lumps are butter!) mayonaise and salt. I stopped him just before he poured BBQ sauce and paprika on it.

Lovely presentation with water, 3 cheese and bacon rolls, sultanas, extra salt and a toy. The sandwich is under the bowl. Real professional like. Presented on a tray covered with playdoh.

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A Boo Happy Meal

Mmmm mmm mmm it’s stomach pump time!

And yes, I did eat the sandwich. I deserve the Mother of the Year award.

Little Johnny made an announcement yesterday. His doppleganger Kevin bobbed his head in agreement.

Autism is baaaaad. Govt is gooooood. Lets chuck some money at early intervention.

A4 worked hard for this. Our convenor Bob was there. Johnny quoted Bob’s research, and made it sound like his own. Typical.

None of the money chucking will benefit us. It is not going to get our house back. It’s not going to be retrospective and bring back our lifestyle and sanity after spending more time and money than any parent should have to spend. And any sibling should have to sacrifice.

But believe it or not, that is not my whinge for the day.

Today’s bitterness is still directed at the Govt, but it has to do with caring for Boo.

The Australian Govt has a program where if your youngest child is at school and you get govt benefits you need to study or get a job. Fair ’nuff I say. But perhaps they need to have someone take a little look at the rules.

I am officially a carer for both my son and husband. I don’t get a payment or anything for DH but since his breakdown I am recognised as his carer as well. And I work. I have scaled back my career aspirations and now work part time while Boo is at school. I had plans and was being groomed for something ‘more’ in my dept. That all disappeared when Boo was diagnosed. I am not bitter about that, I have a more important job now. My Boo is my life, right now he is asleep (finally!) at my feet on a mattress on the loungeroom floor. Snoring lightly, his hair all tousled and beautiful face poking out from his doona cocoon. My forever 2 year old.

But I get pissed off when I get hauled into Centrelink to justify my existence and forced to go to ‘back to work’ training. I am freaking working you morons! Someone please press a fucking button and leave me alone!

Then the pollies get their mugs on TV and say ‘oh the poor carers they have it so hard, they are saving the govt millions of dollars every year and we need to support them yada yada yada’ – dont piss in my pocket buddy, I have enough to do washing shit and toothpaste off the walls without you giving me extra laundry to do. And I am sure your urine don’t smell like flowers.

Now that DH is easing back into work we are in trouble.

You see, I can get respite (a qualified carer coming into our home) to go to the hairdressers or have a massage or go to the movies, but I can’t get it if I am working. If I am working I need to find alternate support. Boo cannot go into child care because of his disability, they don’t have the ‘facilities’ or ‘support’ or fucking ‘clue’ here. There is no where to go.

So I have to ask my parents. My parents that are getting older. My father who is legally blind and has many other difficulties due to the pituitary cancer which caused his blindness, the hip that he is waiting to be replaced and the fact that he is in remission from Lymphoma, my mother who is not only his carer but has health issues of her own including lyphodema after surviving breast cancer. (Yeah, remember yesterday saying I didn’t need someone else wishing me bad luck, that is not the half of my parents dramas) One of them needs to come and care for my child that either my father can’t see or my mother is shorter than so I can go and pay my way in society.

Apparently I should ask my 15 year old to care for her brother. Apparently I should ask her to take responsibility for Boo and give up her life for him. It is bad enough that the girls know that they will have to take over the care of their brother once I have gone for the long nap, I am not asking them to take sole responsibility for him while their parents go and try and earn a wage.

So WTF am I supposed to do Johnny? While you are paying lip service to our plight, I am raising revenue for you in your govt office and caring for 4 of your citizens (my parents need a lot of help too), raising 2 potential tax payers to pay for your retirement while my brother is off fighting your war so you can save face with your mate George.

I have been keeping up with my side of the bargain.

You want me to work, I want to work because it makes me feel like I am something other than a carer.

So how about a little support instead of a pat on the head. It messes up my hair.

Yeah, Daddy Cool, Mummy is a happy girl.

I was discussing the action plan with DH on the phone re the Ipods when Boo’s aide rang.

I was expecting the call. I was expecting to be asked to come and get him from the school musical rehearsals cause he couldn’t cope.

C was beside her self.

‘Get here NOW’

Oh shit. ‘Is he OK?’ my heart is racing

‘He is amazing! OMG I am still crying. Everyone is crying. You have to see this! They are going to do it again for you, just get here NOW!’

(if I wasn’t so paranoid about freakshows getting a hold of my blog I would put the video on here for you to see) anyway back to the story………

I jumped in the car and raced up to the auditorium.

Another aide was waiting for me outside to sneak me in so he wouldn’t see me.

I took a seat behind K (Boo’s friends mum) she is still wiping away tears and she whispered ‘Your going to love this’

Aides, parents, teachers all surrounded me when Boo went back stage to tell me how amazing he was. They stayed in front of me to make sure that I got a clear view but Boo still couldn’t see me. If he saw me he would chuck a fit and not do it.

Eagle Rock starts. The kids come on stage.

(I am crying again. Doing that a lot lately. This kid is doing so well I am becoming severely dehydrated.)

He danced. He sang. He beamed. His classmates got him back on track when he got distrated by the huge screen playing the Daddy Cool filmclip. He flapped like a Eagle. Thankyou P for choreographing a huge stim into it! LOL

Halfway through he improvised and span around in circles to the music. It looked like it was part of the act. 🙂 That kids got rhythm.

When the song was coming to the end he ran out front, span around, dropped to the floor and posed just at the final bar.

It WAS amazing.

He IS amazing.

The whole school erupted in applause.

A dad video taped it for me.

Even more wonderful than Boo’s amazing performance is that they did it all again just for me. Just so I could see my Boo being just like the other kids.

I feel special. And now I need another tissue….

For those not ‘in the know’ a PSG is a Parent Support Group meeting. Once a term his aide, teacher, the vice principal and I get together to talk about Boo’s progress. Most of the time it turns into a love fest, LOL, with C, P, and I telling A (the VP) how wonderful the other is 🙂 Today we celebrated in Boo’s wonderful achievements since we last met as well as letting A know some struggles. A lot of things he was unaware of as he only normally hears of the positive things. He was a little shocked to say the least, which is a good thing. He didn’t realise how little Boo sleeps, how confrontational he can be and how much you need to think on the fly to be one step ahead of him. Boo has a very high IQ so is very quick to try and manipulate a person or situation to get his own way. P and C always see the bigger picture and fight the worthwhile battles even if that means an hour meltdown from Boo. They are truly a gift in our lives and now A realises how gifted they really are.

PSG’s usually only run for 15mins or so. We were in there for over an hour! I got home from popping into Coles for some stuff for dinner and the minutes and notes for the meeting were already in my email box.

Here are the notes with my explainations/clarifications in italic, obviously they don’t call him Boo at school, LMAO.
Program Support Group meeting for Boo 30/08/2007

Attendance: K, A, P, C

• A welcomed all and thanked for their attendance.
• P stated that in general Boo has been going quite well
• He has just completed an argumentative/defiant stage. That is an understatement!!!!!
• He is quite keen to have complete control of situations and becoming quite agitated in response to this. This was also coupled with significantly increased levels of aggression. K said that this was also occurring at home.
• Boo’s health has not been good over this period but K said that this may not necessarily be the direct cause of the changes in his behaviour.
• Boo had his most significant ‘meltdown’ at the pool last Friday. Since then his swimming lessons have been perfect.
• This week he has returned to his calmer self and seems to be happier with decisions being made and accepting them.
• P stated that next year’s teacher needs to be aware that Boo will try to assume control and if that teacher allows him to do this Boo will continue to try to manipulate them.
• Next year is a year of great change for Boo with him not being allowed in the junior playground, in different classrooms and probably with a different teacher. Therefore it is crucial that as soon as we know his teacher for 2008 that we start the familiarisation activities. Yeah instead of the day before school lets out for Christmas holidays!
• He accepts change more readily these days. Social stories are a good way of addressing this.
• On Monday Boo will receive a certificate at assembly – C will do a social story with Boo to prepare him for this as in the past this has been a difficult time for Boo. Last time he had a meltdown for 1/2 hour because he thought the certificate meant school was finished forever and it was a cert of completion. Poor Boo, he was so sad 😦
• The other students are very accepting of Boo.
• K is very happy with how we manage Boo at school– he is happy and safe and these are the main priorities. In addition to this he is constantly trying things outside of his comfort level and is also achieving some wonderful academic results.
• Boo ate peas at home the other night – this is a significant step forward LMAO at this one! I can’t believe he put it in!
• Substitute teachers are carefully selected for Boo but the availability of replacement staff is sometimes limited and unfamiliar staff may be in charge of Boo. Hmmm, that wasn’t the actual conversation. There have been a couple of ‘inappropriate’ selections of subs that A is now aware that these people are not to be working with him again. Think he was covering his butt a little here. Fair enough I suppose.
• Boo is more able to accept praise now. This is HUGE!
• P outlined the changes to Boo’s Individual Learning Plan. These include:
– Better manners and being more polite when asking for things Instead of screaming ‘Get me X’ or snatching
– When Boo doesn’t respond he is now being told that he needs to answer those people, without being told what to say. Boo was becoming prompt dependent. Needing people to say ‘Say Hello’ etc before he would respond.
– Boo not needing to be supervised so closely
– Recommendation that swimming familiarisation sessions to be continued once school swimming program is over.
– Encourage Boo to complete activities without excessive negotiation. This is a big one. P sometimes spends 10 minutes ‘discussing’ what needs to be done with Boo. Patient, patient man.
– Boo recognises when he needs a toy to play with to help deal with stressful situations, but this is a rare occurrence of late.
– For Boo to put up his hand when he is volunteering an answer or comment.
– To not focus on using fonts so much. Boo is obsessed with writing in particular fonts and they have to be PERFECT or he gets frustrated and angry. His favourite font is Magneto Bold remember! LOL
– For Boo to infer meaning from text. Because of his Hyperlexia and IQ, Boo can spell and read any word. He is almost grade level now in comprehension which is the biggest hurdle.
– For Boo to use mental strategies in his maths Apparently Boo has all the teachers stumped on how he gets to an answer. He shows his working out but it makes no sense to any of the teachers in the school. However he ALWAYS gets the correct answer!
– To tell the time conventionally on an analogue clock

The biggest issues were minimised a little I think. I really would like some reference into the amazing job P and C are doing and the extra effort they go to. All the positives are from sheer hard work from them. I am going to write a letter to the principal and the Education Dept at the end of the year to let them know what dedicated wonderful people P and C are.

Anyway, all in all, its all good.

and completely wrecked my makeup 🙂

Might seem like a little thing to some but to me it is everything.  Boo went in the big pool today at swimming lessons and he went up to his neck.  Then he blew bubbles in the water.

I got to school to pick him up early for his doctors appt (he still has an ear infection and needs another round of antibiotics) and Mrs. W the office lady came running up to me to tell me.  Then I got to the classroom and the sub teacher S – who happens to be a friend – came up to me jumping up and down to tell me.  Then his aide, C, saw us leaving and came to tell me. By then we were both blubbering.  Apparently his teacher P, who was on a PD, was messaging C all day to find out how he was going and is beside himself with excitement at Boo’s achievement.   Another teacher spent the whole time taking photos.  I cannot wait till tomorrow to see them.  I can’t believe it.  My Boo is amazing!  I am so proud.  Boo couldn’t care less about all the fuss, but I just want to squeeze him all the time.  I want to shout it from the rooftops.  I swear I have not been this excited and emotional since the first time he called me ‘Mum’.

Someone pass the tissues, the keyboard is getting wet.

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