Despite the best efforts of the universe to prevent it’s erection (*snigger* I said erection…. shuddup, I am delirious) the cubby is finally up.
Apparently you don’t need instructions, or the right amount of materials, or pre warning that you will need specialist drill bits, a kick arse professional strength drill and a circular saw to complete it.
Apparently no one has sued them before for false advertising.
Apparently it takes 2 people 2 hours to erect it *snigger*.
In reality it took 4 adults, 15 hours to put up. Well, actually 3 adults 6 hours to put the base up wrong, 1 hour to dismantle and then the remainder putting it up right.
See that? Only about 3 foot too tall. Would they listen to me? Noooooo. They actually erected *snigger* the whole fucking base and then realised that they could actually stand under it and then went oops.
There were injuries:
MPS got a splinter. Awww, poor baby.
There was night time drilling and hammering. With lots of beer. And singing. And gnashing of jaws and thumping of chests. I went inside. I don’t drink beer. Or like hearing my husband, brother and father singing to Pink.
And pizza at 10pm.
And more beer.
And then start all over again in the morning. Well, after breakfast. At 12pm. Hmmm.
And more beer.
Apparently drills only work if my brother has beer.
And then at 7.30pm tonight they downed tools.
It was finished.
There was a round of applause. And gasps of ‘FUCK it’s HUGE!’
Boo decreed it to be the best present ever. Well I told him to say that. Gotta use that freaking echolalia to your advantage. I am ‘the best Mummy ever’ and ‘Gawd Daymn Gorgeous’ too. It’s true! Boo says so.
Tonight there has been a flurry of activity in our driveway. Kids I have never seen before and the neighbours children all congregating and peering down our driveway. Hoping for an invite I expect.
Should I charge admission?