You know them….. previously seen in such posts as:

Letter to my neighbours….


Bugger off will ya?

If you have not read these posts before, click on them to catch up.

It’s OK, we will wait……..

A few weeks ago a strange looking couple came to my door. It was 8pm, a bit late for the Jehovahs Witness suits, but they were clutching trifold papers. So I opened the door ready to give them a piece of my mind for interrupting my TV time.

Turns out they were my neighbours. Who would have thought that he survived all this time and he actually had a wife with hair the colour of Santa’s suit?

They were inviting us to a Block Christmas Party.

‘Now we know that Boo has dietary issues, so just let me know what he likes to eat and I will get it’

I gave her a dark look. What the FUCK? I have never seen this woman before, I thought her husband was dead in front of the television for Christs sake, and she knows that Boo has ‘dietary issues’ and HIS FUCKING NAME?

‘How do you know that?’ I start scanning the ceiling for bugs or video cameras and my mind races back to the times when there were no kids in the house and it was just me and Mario-porn-star……. OMG!!!!

‘Oh we know Sue and we drove her out to your parents house a few weeks ago to pick up the oven….. Your mother is such a wonderful woman with everything she does for you and surviving breast cancer and caring for your father…….’


So tonight we finally get to meet our neigbours. The ones mentioned previously, the new family across the road (next door to the freaks) the chick down the road who it turns out is in charge of approving Boo’s funding, the freaky goth who used to go to school with Moo, and the old bloke who apparently owns half the block.

And there will be alcohol. And cricket.

I will update later. Should make for an interesting post methinks.