or so the gossip mongers say. And we play along, cause we are shit stirrers like that.

If they knew me well they would know that S is not, um, manly, enough for me *snigger* and we were friends looooong before he was my boss.  And he adores his wife.

We regularly have bitch sessions, compare coffee houses and are often found huddling in the corner giggling at the resident dress-like-a-teen-even-though-you-are-pushing-menopause hooker workmate.

Oh, and he is my bitch. And my daughters best friends Dad. So nooky in the conference room, I don’t think so, more like we would be doing each others nails ifyouknowwhatImean *wink*

Today we were gossiping. I was sitting on his desk, wearing a short skirt, he was leaning close, workmates eyes were popping out of heads *gaffaw* and this was the conversation:

Me: You bastard! You went and got a coffee and not me one.

S: I think I have PMS. I forgot, sorry. I was just at the salon. We had the most awesome salad but I just needed CHOCOLATE! So I got this huge hunk of mud cake…… but I know you don’t like cake. See I was thinking of you.  Even if I forgot to get you a coffee.

(his wife owns a beauty salon)

Me: Gimme some of your coffee you big girl (he has the same as me, double skinny latte no sugar)

*slurp*

S: Did you see A has that low cut top on again today. I don’t know where to look!

Me: *giggle* I am so going to tell her you said that.

S: Shutup! Don’t you dare!

Me: Hey does anyone have next week off?

S: Why?

Me: C’mon. Does anyone have next week off? Lemme look.

S: No, don’t want you to look. I will miss you. If you are not here I don’t have any friends.

*big girly pout*

Me: C’mon let me have next week off. You didn’t buy me coffee remember?

S: OK. But who will I talk to?

Me: I don’t care, I will be a lady of leisure. You could always come up at lunchtime and bring me a coffee.

*both sniggering* I said it loud enough for the gossipers to hear.

So I have the rest of this week off because of school closures for Boo and then next week to do with what I wish. Oh the bliss.

Oh and I will miss S. Cause he is my bitch. And cause he is fabulous.

I do have plans to do a lot though.  Thinking I might put a bit of a sidebar thingy on to keep me accountable.  You know, shit like ‘lounge around’, ‘do my nails’, ‘do lunch’, ‘build a cubby house/pergola’….

Perhaps a bit optimistic, but hey I have never been known to take on small projects.  I need just enough pulling-my-hair-out-hysterically pressure to work off all the caffeine I consume.

UPDATE:

Rat-fuck-son-of-a-bitch.  Moo just announced that she has Monday off.  That sucks.

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