Yesterday I had to take Moo to Centrelink. They sent me a letter saying that now she is 16 she has to apply for an allowance. Oh, and I have to prove to them that she exists. THEY sent ME a fucking letter and now I have to prove to them who she is?????

So we did everything required, birth certificate, letter from the school (which said she was born in 1999 which would make her 8. Idiots.) student ID card, 3 consecutive years of school reports, my Medicare card, my tax details for the last 2 years, my pay slips and filled the forms out online. And then printed out the other 6 freaking forms and filled them out by hand.

We get in there and stand in line. Next to a woman who hasn’t bathed this century. Then we are called up. Apparently the information I got from calling the Call Centre THREE times was wrong. Moo didn’t need to be there (and miss English and her fucking Year 11 EXAM is next week!!!!) and she didn’t need to open a bank account. TWO people on the phone told me that she had to open a bank account to prove that she existed, or have a utility bill in her name. WTF? She is 16 years old! Oh and by the freaking way, you need to fill out this form.

Hang on a second. This is the form that I spent hours filling out online and nearly killed someone in the process cause it kept throwing me out. And apparently because the stupid online form added me 6 times as the contact for Moo, I need to fill out 6 extra forms……

So with gritted teeth and mumbling expletives (not to the chick on the counter, I know it is not her fault) I filled out the fucking forms again.

Then we sat and waited. Weirdly, we were the only ones in the waiting area. Then a couple walked in. The woman huge, with bleach blonde hair and black roots. Huge shapeless stained shirt and a fag behind her ear. The guy, 2 inches shorter, no shoes, tight black jeans covered in cat hair.

Moo looked at me, I looked at Moo. The woman sat right next to me. Chairs empty everywhere. She sat down next to me. The stench was unbearable. And the fucker was breathing through her mouth so the rotting contents of her bowel was assaulting my nostrils along with her body odour.

We finally got out of there. Drove Moo to school and then I took my Dad shopping.

He went to the hardware shop. I went clothes shopping. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I let a tiny little girl serve me. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She kept giving me stuff that was too small or stretched so tightly across my breasticles I looked like a hooker. I bought something just to stop her from coming into the change room all the freaking time. Now I have to take it back, cause I am never going to wear a skin tight lime green tshirt.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

We decided to have lunch in the food court. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I had Indian. From. A. Food. Court. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I am sitting here with a bucket beside me. Stupid, stupid girl.

And I am shitting through the eye of a needle…..

I need coffee. DH used the last of it this morning. And didn’t tell me. Asshole.

Now, do I risk running to the shop to get some more? Should I wear a nappy like that astronaut chick?

Now my stomach is doing that gurgling thing again…….

Oh, man, this sucks.

And Boo found my toothbrush again…….

Furry, vomit covered teeth.  Burning ring of fire.  Caffeine withdrawals. And I am ovulating so zit the size of a planet on my chin……