(many thanks to my brother for teaching him that one)

Round one:

Mummy is in the kitchen, doing last nights dishes (that someone didn’t do today cause they were too busy scratching their arse while I was flying around the place getting ready for the parties)

Boo is in the loungeroom.

Boo puts Shannon Noll’s ‘Loud’ on continual loop on his computer while simultaneously shredding and masticating a metre long piece of packing foam.

Mummy is down for the count.

Round 1 awarded to Boo!

Round two:

Mummy is tidying Boo’s room.

Boo is on the toilet.

Boo snaps another towel rail in half. Finds the toothpaste – no prizes for guessing what he does with it.

And then he wipes his arse on the now puddled on the floor towel. My favourite towel. The lovely huge fluffy blue one.

Mummy clutches the doorway and smiles sweetly. Through clenched teeth.

Round 2 winner is Boo

Round three:

Mummy gets Boo ready for bed. Dreams of sleeping alone dance through her head. Oh the bliss, the decadence the spread-out-and-take-all-the-pillows-ness.

‘It is sleepover night tonight’


Boo jumps into Mummy’s bed.

Mummy sighs and gets in too.

Mummy needs a bottle of red and a straw.

And the winner tonight is Boo……… Just like last night.