Was having a productive day.
Had a plan.
Had a million things to do and the energy and motivation to just do it……
Notice the past tense?
I was replying to an email when my Spidey senses perked up. Boo is up to no good. I look over my shoulder and see the pantry door covered in texta.
He had turned my pantry into a digital clock. Quite creative really, but that is beside the point.
I had Too’s friend standing over me, muttering something, but I was ignoring him cause I am cranky at him for 1. calling here reverse charges from a freaking mobile phone, from ANOTHER STATE three times last week, and 2. inviting Too to the movies and then ringing me last night to tell me that I have to take them and pick them up!
Anyway. I dodged around him, determined to catch Boo in the act so I can scold him. As I went tearing around the corner I got my toe caught up in my yoga pants…..
for those that don’t know what they are…. mine are exactly the same. See the way they flare out at the bottom? Stupid freakin’ things. I’m gunna sue!!!
And now my big toe is blown up like that bloated feral biatches face from the other day, purple and sorta bent to one side….
AND it is the toe I broke during the take-the-bed-apart-with-a-hammer-in-bare-feet fiasco back in ’98. The same day my washing machine broke down and every door handle in the piece of shit Ford snapped off while heavily pregnant with Boo so I couldn’t have any drrruuuuggggssss!!!!
So here I am, whacked out on anti inflammataries – paracetamol makes me need a nanna nap – on the lounge with a ice-stick thingy that in my giggly semi conscious state looks surprisingly like a dildo, slamming down coffee and lamenting everything I was going to do today is lost.
But the worst thing of all. The one thing that would send me crying in the corner? The fact that I can’t drive our manual car? That the laundry is full of the kids school uniforms that need to be washed, hung out on the line etc etc? That I was going to make my super special spaghetti sauce that takes hours to make? No…..
My toe is so fucking bent and bloated there is not ONE pair of shoes that I can wear. I will have to go barefoot or wear slippers or something…..
Now that is just truly tragic.