Remember when your were a tween girl (OK, guys you will have to think of your sister – in a nice way or the girls at school – in anyway you like) and you were so in love with someone famous that you thought you would burst?

Personally, at 7 I was in love with Paul Stanley from Kiss. We were going to have a big white house (yes ladies and gentlemen, a child in Australia truly believed that she could live in the actual White House. With Paul Stanley) and lots of dogs. Cause I wasn’t allowed to have a dog.

Between the ages of 12 and 14 I was desperately madly hopelessly not-able-to-sleep-with-adoring-desire with this bloke


oooooh my heart is all a flutter. Oh my GOD how I loved him. I wanted to have his babies (yes I know, I know, but if he just met me he would forget about boys altogether……… and he did marry that Asian chick for a while. No, not at all like Elton…..)

I wrote my first will at 13. 2 days before I went to see Culture Club in concert. I braided my hair with multicoloured wool so he could see me in the crowd and instantly fall madly desperately in love with me. I gave my mum my will before I went to the concert. She ROLLED HER EYES! I thought it was perfectly reasonable to leave my entire collection of Culture Club memorabilia to George and be cremated and my ashes spread over his front lawn in St Johns Wood (oh how I wish Google Earth was around then!) while George, weeping uncontrollably, crooned Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?

I thought I would die and locked myself in my room and refused to eat when he was caught snorting cocaine.

Anyway, over the years I got over my desperate infatuation with ‘the Boy’ and discovered real life boys. But my heart would still skip a beat whenever his name was mentioned.

My best friend E was in love with Bono. She got to see U2 last year while heavily pregnant, hightlight of her life she said. E and I have never had the same taste in men, thankfully. Always a good foundation for a friendship, especially when out clubbing.

E had passing fancies with Billy Ray Cyrus (ew, I just vomitted a little) and Robbie Williams (pass me a bucket) but Bono was always her first love.

A couple of years back E met C. He has a passing resemblence to Bono. Especially when he wears the Bono glasses that E bought him, and makes him wear. Even in bed *snicker*.

E and C are now livin’ in sin with a baby boy who has his own Bono glasses. All is sparkly in E’s world cause she is now with her girlhood crush.

One of Moo’s friends mum is in lust with Vin Diesel. Her guy looks like him, well so she says. He has a bald head and if you chopped Vin off at the knees……. personally I think he looks more like mini-me. But to her she has hit the jackpot. Her crush realised.

A few years ago I was in the shower and let my mind wander. As you do. All of a sudden I had an epiphany.

‘DH, get in here NOW!’

DH (affectionate form) came skidding into the bathroom, look of deep concern on his face.


‘Yeah, whatever. Get over here. NO! That’s not what I mean. Stand there. Head up. To the side. Chin down. Now look up at me…..’

Oh. My. God.

I married Boy George. A brown eyed, Hungarian, Boy George.

Well they have the same nose………