I have had a bad day.

Boo is within inches of being smothered. If I was stronger than him, and I am not. Darn it.

He is serenading me with one of the most annoying songs of the moment ‘Big girls don’t cry’ by Fergie. He is doing a much better job. But fingernails-down-a-blackboard all the same.

Caffeine deprived, sleep deprived but just remembered I have some Clinkers hidden in my bag. Hang on a second. Talk amoungst yourselves……..

Typical. No freaking green ones. I love the green ones. I get the packet and bite a little off the ends of them to find the green ones.

WordPress is having some major problems and my blog has gone haywire. Comments are disappearing, links moving all over the shop and I am screaming in frustration. But to give ’em their dues, support has been quick and friendly while they scramble to fix the problems…… One little ray of sunshine in a rather brown coloured day.

Brown you say? Brown. Why choose that particular colour Kelley? I will give you one word. Boo. It rhymes with Boo. And it is everywhere. Hence the dreams of strangulation of my child.

Oh and before that he was counting the days of the year with a calendar. When he made a mistake he went back to January 1 and started again. He actually got to 354 and went back! Every freaking time he got to February 28 he would start going on and on and ON about how leap years are never going to happen and apparently he will kill anyone that says different. Well it wasn’t said as eloquently as that more like ‘No leap years! NOOOOOO! No leap years! You say leap year, I say kill kill kill!! Aaaarrrgggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!’

Deep breath Kelley.

And I broke 2 nails. Then in my wisdom decided to pluck my eyebrows. Bad day, caffeine deprived with the smell of the little turds turds still under my nails (that smell is just not shifting) and sharp tweezers and WAX. Yes my friends, I tried to use hot wax in my delicate condition.

I just thank the Lord that I have a fringe (bangs to you in the US of A) and hope like heck that it is not windy tomorrow.

It is 1/4 past 10 and Boo is looking like pulling an all nighter. So my thoughts turn to shoes. Hmmm, which ones tomorrow? Seeing my earlier pleas to the coffee machine Gods went unheeded I will go to the shoe sale this coming week. In order to preserve my sanity and prevent social services darkening my shit covered doorstep asking why Boo has hand prints around his neck, I will dream about shoes. Pretty shoes, pink shoes, red shoes, sky high heeled sexy shoes.

But not latte coloured shoes. That would truly break my heart.

Rest in peace my beloved coffee machine. I love you.