Man, there is some crazy kinda stink coming out of my boy.
Like rotting flesh and playdoh.
Or is it communism? I don’t know but it smells like 40 kinds of awful.
We went to a cafe after school today. Boo was beside himself as it was a gluten free cafe and he got to have a soy icecream in a freaking CONE!! The kid was swooning.
We were in a booth. I was gulping my 4th sipping my latte, Moo chowing down on some cheesecake and Boo, well he was whispering sweet nothings to his icecream.
Then it hit me. Oh. My. God.
I looked a Moo, she looked at me and we decided it couldn’t be Boo cause that kid farts all the time and it had never smelt like that.
The smell was reminiscent of the caravan park that MPS’s brother put us in after driving 14 hours overnight to make arrangements for his mothers funeral. The caravan park next to the sewerage plant.
But worse.
We shot a dirty look at the toddler in the next booth.
Then in the car. That smell again.
We pull into the driveway, heads out the window gulping fresh air.
I send Boo to the toilet, when I realise that the smell, the smell that would send the hounds of hell whimpering into a corner is coming from his mouth.
He is burping up that smell.
I interrogate him. Fat lot of good that is. All I get is ‘I don’t know’ or echolalic response.
But then I spy it. The half eaten remnants of one of the coconut truffles I made on the weekend. And the mocha ones. And they were choc full of cream, cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk.
Aaaaaaah! Yes, I know that smell. The smell that used to cauterize my nose hairs before we took him off dairy at 8 months old. Good ol’ cow lactation.
The little bastard must have swiped them from the fridge.
Tomorrow P (his teacher) will be in hysterics. Boo is going to his new classroom. With his new teacher for next year. She will get to sample first hand why it is not a good idea to let Boo eat something that is not part of his special diet.
Should I pack some air freshener? Pine or lavender?
*************
Thankyou to all of you that have been scouring the stores for Hyper Dash for me. Or sending out your husbands *snigger*. Especially to those that parted with cold hard cash to ensure that Boo got his wish from Santa. I am truly humbled that you would even think to look for me. I am truly speechless at the wonderfulness of my internet friends.
And it is a rectangular box!!! Yay!
December 18, 2007 at 7:47 am
Poor kid, imagine what it tastes like when he burps! LOL When A drinks milk, we just have to scrape him off the ceiling! Ooohhh…have Boo burp into balloons…the newest WMD!!! Ok, I’m done now. ; )
December 18, 2007 at 8:34 am
It will be a very good practical lesson for Boo’s Teacher.. Sometimes Teachers can be a bit thick.. (even the good ones hehehe) Nothing like a positive lesson on why Dairy is Bad Bad Bad for Boo…
cheers Kim
December 18, 2007 at 10:58 am
Pine – lavender for a boy stinks
Hope he is okay and you can take the peg off your nose soon.
December 18, 2007 at 11:01 am
And thanks for sharing the details right before dinner…
December 18, 2007 at 11:39 am
You know that I mean this most sincerely when I say that I completely understand!
Maybe the stockings should have pegs attached so that we can protect ourselves, there’s only so many nose hairs that you can cauterize!
Cheers
December 18, 2007 at 11:44 am
Put Boo and I together and we could solve an energy crisis! W00T!
December 18, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Jen: OMG!!! That would be so freaking funny! And then get him to tell the kids they are helium and they will try and suck in the air…… *snort*
Kim: It is amazing how many people think cheese is not dairy and eggs are!
Trish: He is at school, I have popped home and opened all the windows. The air right now is sweet
VE: It was breakfast time here in Oz when I posted it. So making sure I am covering all meals!
Maddy: LOL, I knew you would.
Ohthejoys: Cool. Wanna take him for a few days? *gaffaw*
December 18, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Cheese is not dairy but eggs are? Okaaaaaay, if they say so.
How long until it all works out of his system and you can breathe freely?
December 18, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Ewww! **shudders**
Oh and Kelley, I didn’t send my hubby………. he offered. lol
December 19, 2007 at 2:35 am
Could you get the internet to find me a Wii? For cheap? Or even for free? Free would be better.
That would be ever so helpful.
Poor Boo. Can he have tic tacs or something? Or does his breath then just smell like tic tacs covered in crap?
December 19, 2007 at 9:52 am
I am frequently awestruck by the smells that roll out of children. My daughter has some pretty outrageous odors herself.
December 19, 2007 at 11:25 am
Poor guy! That couldn’t have been very pleasant for his tummy, either!
December 19, 2007 at 11:29 am
Maybe you can put him up for adoption?
December 19, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Veronica: You would be surprised how often that comes up! I don’t even know WHY people would think that!
It is all gone now (thank God) he deposited it in a lovely mural in the bathroom.
Bettina: Even more wonderful!
Contrary: *puts fingers to her temple* bring Contrary a Wii, bring Contrary a Wii….. need to urinate yet?
ilovemyredhead: and then there are the husbands and their dutch ovens…
Gina: No, I expect it wasn’t.
Mr Fab: You want him? You said he was fantastic the other day. I got some bubble wrap here and a shit load of stamps….
December 19, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Welcome to my world, sweatheart! I have to plunge a rancid toilet nearly everyday here. The smells that emanate from our facilities is just about enough to make me vomit like when I had morning sickness.
December 26, 2007 at 11:26 am
Are you sure he wasn’t brushing with your toothbrush………