That is what I wrote on the sign out book at school today.

A totally inaccurate statement that pissed me off and set me off mumbling all the way to the car, my baby holding my hand and happy to have a half day off school.

Today was a public holiday in Victoria. But because we live in the ‘country’ some places have the day off, others don’t.

DH and I had the day off work, but the kids had school. Boo’s school had a Melbourne Cup themed day with races and fashions on the field after an early lunch.

But Boo only had aiding till 12.30pm. And Boo doesn’t cope with me being his ‘aide’ cause it is too confusing for him. At school C (his aide) and P (the teacher) are in charge. I am the boss when the bell goes.

It has taken a year to get him to understand this. ‘Cause the kid needs firm rules.

So today, while all the races were on, the kids wandering around school with any freak job able to just walk in the school grounds unchallenged, Boo was expected to fend for himself.

The child that eats dirt and half chewed apples off the ground and ROCKS for fucks sake and has a penchant for wandering off alone was expected to just sit quietly and understand what to do.

And all of a sudden develop the ability to know not to wander off with a stranger that offers him food.

So there I am at the office filling out the sign out book and the Vice Principal walks out. He looks pissed. Well I am more fucking pissed.

‘So A’ I call out ‘What should I write as the reason I am taking Boo out of school this afternoon?’

He saunters over, thinking I want a friendly chat. Normally we have a good relationship but today I am pissed at him and ready to stab the new principal in the head with the pen. The new principal has decreed that if an aide is away for one day they will not be replaced.

Boo’s aide now calls me in the morning if she is too sick to come to school so I can keep Boo home. Fucking Arsehole. He is saving money and I have to take time off work….. or worse, C comes in when she should be home sick.

Again, as always, I digress.

A is standing next to me, smiling down. A is a rather attractive man, but today all I can see is his devil horns….

‘I need to write something here, and seeing he isn’t sick and doesn’t have a doctors appointment, I don’t know what to write’ I say, knowing he has no idea where this is going.

‘Oh’ his face clouds over for a moment ‘Why are you taking him home?’

‘Well, he has no aiding for this afternoon. P is judging and C is in Mr S’s room. So no supervision’

‘He will be alright won’t he’

What the FUCK!!!!! This man has been in every freaking meeting about Boo since day dot. He was there during the discussion when Boo was doing nudie runs in the halls, when he took to playing in the urinals, when he disappeared during a class with a sub teacher, when he got a 4 year old in a head lock cause he was playing ‘The Simpsons’, when he ate so many freaking ROCKS in the playground that our toilet was backed up………

‘No, A, he will not.’ I said through gritted teeth while Boo was happily laying on the floor at my feet giggling for no apparent reason.

‘Oh, well write Parental Decision then’ he shot back at me.

‘Fine.’ I muttered back and shot him one of my infamous glares, the glare that makes small children cry and Emo teenagers make a facial expression other than a scowl ‘We will talk about this later in the week’

And I helped Boo off the floor and swung around and strode out the door. Shit, I wish I had heels on today, it would have been so much more dramatic.

As I am walking out the door, A calls out

‘Have a wonderful day Kelley!’

He knows I am pissed. He knows that I am the reasonable parent. I am the parent that goes out of her way to make sure that everything is fair. I know that my boy is hard work and will do anything and everything to help the school, teachers and for Christsakes the other kids cope with Boo being there. I help out at the school and do things at home without batting an eyelid. Ask for help, I am there.

I am his dream fucking parent and he has pissed me off.

And he has known me long enough to know, you don’t piss me off. Not when it comes to my boy.

A, you better bring a spare pair of pants when I decide we are having that meeting. You will need ‘em buddy.

Oh and tissues. Lots of tissues. I betcha you ain’t so pretty when you cry.