I don’t know if I can live through this. I can’t even look at the header on my blog without wanting to break out in sobs. Life around here is going to be rather unpleasant.
It happened yesterday. The horrified looks between Moo and Too said it all. This is a disaster. Batten down the hatches and talk in muted whispers. Mummy is gunna be a bear.
My coffee machine expired.
‘What does this mean?’ a horrified Too whispered to her sister
‘Oh, I am so glad I am going on camp tomorrow, just stay clear of her and don’t argue about anything.’ Moo advised
‘Honey, why don’t you grab yourself a coffee from Gloria Jeans while you are out’ DH quietly suggested from a safe distance. ‘I will pull it apart while you are gone and see if I can fix it’
I was sitting in the corner rocking. Barefoot. That is how devastated and out of control I was.
I am cycling through the stages of grief at a rate of knots:
denial – maybe it is not turned on? Not enough water? Your holding your mouth the WRONG WAY!!!!!!!!
anger – what did you do? Stop messing with me or I will hurt you! Stupid bloody thing, lets sue the manufacturer for pain and suffering.
bargaining – if I clean the kitchen it will be OK. If I don’t eat for the rest of the week we can afford to buy another one. Perhaps one of the kids won’t eat just to keep mummy happy….. Oh please God don’t let this happen to me, I will be a good girl, I won’t go to the shoe sale next week, just please please let the coffee machine work!!!!!!
depression – rocking in the corner mumbling about the unfairness of the world, fabulous-shoe-less.
acceptance – OK, it will be all right I can drink instant send DH out for coffee from GJ’s or McCafe. I can buy chocolate coated coffee beans, I can just eat the beans raw.
And now I just broke a nail….
Will the horror ever stop?
September 16, 2007 at 12:29 pm
DEAR GOD NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I feel your pain honey, I went to make coffee this morning, something I need to do before I can even think about communication, and there was nothing…… not a spoonful. The canister was there, that amazing aroma was there when I opened it, but there I stood looking into the emptiness that is ‘no coffee’. We have a little Italian ‘top if the stove’ jobbie, that makes coffee FAST. There it sat. Taunting me. “FILL ME” it screeched!
September 16, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Kelley – get yourself a stove top espresso pot! Much more affordable than the machines. Love mine – it gets used a few times a day!
September 16, 2007 at 3:49 pm
I really need to go and hunt out my stove top espresso pot. Right now I am OK cause I went and claimed my freebie coffee I was saving in my purse. Mmmmmmm latte….
September 16, 2007 at 5:52 pm
KELLEY!!!!!! YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK WOMAN! I thought something truly awful had happened. LOL. Sorry, I don’t drink coffee so I probably can’t sympathise with you enough.
Now if the world ran out of chocolate…..
September 16, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Well it did!!!!! Waaaaaa!!! You know how much coffee means to me! LOL.
Sorry to frighten you babe. Will make sure I preface anything like that again with a disclaimer just for you.
‘Dear Jodi, everything is OK really’
sound good?
September 17, 2007 at 12:44 pm
ROFLMAO!!! Part of the problem was I was reading on google reader and had forgotten the coffee beans at the top of your blog. If I’d come straight to your blog instead of being lazy, I wouldn’t have panicked. I have to add – the way you write just cracks me up. Always brings a smile to me day. Thanks.
November 19, 2007 at 8:26 pm
[...] November 19, 2007 I hate Summer. Posted by magneto bold too under NaBloPoMo, things that irriate me, things that piss me off | Tags: shoes, stupid people, summer, whinging | Hate is probably a strong word. How about I fucking despise Summer, more than pregnancy hormone induced hemorrhoid’s and even more than when my coffee machine expired. [...]
November 22, 2007 at 8:26 pm
[...] “How about I fucking despise Summer, more than pregnancy hormone induced hemorrhoid’s and even more than when my coffee machine expired.” [...]