From what I have heard the blogging Gods have decreed that when you get to 100 posts you have to do a ’100 things you don’t know about me’ thingymabob.

I have had 1 hour and 47 minutes sleep (yes, I know exactly down to the minute how much sleep I have had… pathetic isn’t it?) and 2 latte, 2 macchiato and half a bag of dark choc coffee beans. So I can’t remember my own name, let alone what I have already told ya’ll. My hands are all shaky and my eyes are all weird…

eyes.jpg

Funny, I have chameleon eyes and they usually only go blue when I am angry. And wacked out on caffeine apparently….. That hair is my fringe not my eyebrows…..

So here we go, are you ready. Hang on while I go make another coffee…. ooh this should be very interesting.

1. the eye thing above

2. I am rather partial to a coffee or 5

3. Before I was pregnant with Boo I used to drink 10 cups a day.

4. I work for the government, hence the coffee addiction.

5. I have been blogging for 2 months

6. I read 30 blogs a day, usually while I am waiting for Boo to go to sleep.

7. I am a compulsive commentor. I feel guilty reading a blog without commenting.

8. I rarely swear on others blogs, but find it hard not to on my own.

9. My husband is 10 years older than me

10. His friends and mother never accepted me because of my age.

11. They still don’t.

12. Meh, they can bite my arse.

13. I am a very loyal friend, unless you cross me

14. I can hate with passion. Especially if you hurt or gossip badly about my children.

15. I broke off a long term friendship after the stupid bint was talking about me and accidentally hit call on her phone and I heard the whole conversation. When she started on my kids (apparently I caused Boo’s Autism from pandering to him and as a result was neglecting my daughters) I hung up because I didn’t want to hear anymore.

16. I love shoes. They make me happy. If I am having a bad hair day or a bloated day or I-am-the-ugliest-woman-on-earth day my shoes will always look fabulous.

17. Here are todays shoes

boots.jpg

18. Believe it or not they are really really comfortable.

19. The shoes are not dusty, the mirror is

20. Cause I am not a good little housewife.

21. The job I hate most is hanging washing on the line. I would rather clean the toilet.

22. The 2nd worse job is ironing. I tend to chuck things in the dryer and see how they go before pulling out the iron.

23. I was 19 when I got knocked up found out I was pregnant.

24. Yes, DH is the father of all of my children….. sigh.

25. My kids are all bastards born out of wedlock. We didn’t want anyone to feel left out.

26. We got married on New Years Eve 1999.

27. We got married cause I was sick of explaining who I was cause I had a different last name.

28. But it took me 10 years to get sick enough of it to take on his horrifically long name.

29. Our kids were attendants in our wedding. The wedding photos confuse the crap out of their friends cause their parents did it the right way. Then the questions start again….

30. I am not liking this cause it is taking toooo loooongggggg.

31. I have a short attention span.

32. I have a dimple in my chin.

33. and I hate it. As a child I would put food in it to try and pretend it wasn’t there.

34. When I was asked what my most distinguishing mark when I was 30 I had forgotten I had it.

35. The first bed we had when we shacked up in sin moved in together was a waterbed.

36. We had to get a new bed because when we were filling it with the hose we got distracted *snigger* and burst the bladder by over filling it.

37. And flooded the house.

38. I am allergic to tuna

39. and amniotic fluid of cats

40. When I went in to have Boo the doctor put a wristband on me saying I was allergic to both of those things. One of the nurses actually had to sit down she was laughing so hard.

41. The doctor was still giggling while he cut me open. Get over yourself buddy, you aren’t that funny.

42. DH watched the whole operation. Including the cutting.

43. He assisted the doctor in his own vasectomy

44. DH is a strange strange man.

45. My husband and daughters laughed for ages about this tshirt.

geek_love_poem-1.jpg

46. I didn’t get it.

47. Cause I am not a geek

48. But I do feel stupid when they talk maths at the dinner table

49. Or talk in html (see 45.)

50. I ache for another baby

51.  A physical pain, especially when I see a new baby

52.  I have even researched the cost of reversing DH’s vasectomy

53. I don’t like my belly, it’s too big, I only like it when it is a house

54.  I would have liposuction in a second if I could afford it

55. The most beautiful words I could hear on the phone would be:

‘Hello this is Mr Devine’  Mr Devine is the guy that calls you when you have won the lottery

56. The first thing I would do is buy a fabulous car and go and pick my girls up from school

57.  and then buy a house

58. and shoes

59.  and someone to watch Boo while I slept

60. for, like, a freaking YEAR

61.   I wanted to be either a horror movie makeup artist or a marine biologist when I was in early highschool

62. Even though I am terrified of the sea and would never swim in it

63. I have panic attacks crossing bridges in cars

64. I know how to smash a window in a car that is underwater.  Icepick

65.  I have a fucking icepick in my car cause I am THAT scared

66. The most terrifying movie of all time for me is The Exorsist.

67.  I saw it when I was 13 and apparently I used to look like Linda Blair

68.  That shit messes with a hormonal girls mind, and I slept with the light on and music going for 4 months.

69.  My mother thought I was on drugs

70.  So she started reading my diary

71. And going through my things

72.  I came home from school one day with my diary open to a page where I said I stole a stuffed toy.  She had circled it in red.

73.  It was a big freaking arsed toy.  I can’t remember how I got it out of the store.

74.  She ranted and raved at me for DAYS.

75.  Then she gave it to my cousin for his birthday.  Freaking hypocrite.

76.  That is why I will never ever read my girls diaries.

77.  I even know where they are.

78.  Cause they showed me.  I wanted to know so I would never accidentally read it.  Cause no parent wants to read their kids diary.  It is wrong.  And 90% of it is bullshit anyway.

79. My favourite vegetables are sweet potato and spinach

80. I have had 2 close girlfriends that were guys.  The first tried to pretend he wasn’t gay, but he so was.

81.  He got me drunk one night and tried to prove he wasn’t

82. But he couldn’t.

83. He came out the next day

84.  The other one wanted to be Madonna.  He could Vogue better than her

85.   He also taught me how to do my makeup like a tranny

86.  I looked fabulous! But you can’t wear that sorta makeup to the supermarket

87.  I love reading books.  My favourites are biographies about people with horrific lives

88. They make me feel better about mine (nasty huh?)

89.  But I also like Paullina Simons .  Just the Bronze Horsemen series

90. I thought I liked it because it was historic and about horrible lives

91. But my girlfriend recons it is because it is soft porn

92.  She may be right

93. I have never read a Mills and Boon book

94. Because my mums neighbour (a HUGE smelly woman) reads them all the time.  Even when she is driving.

95.  And just thinking about the books I get a mental image of her. (I think I just vomited a little)

96. I love planning birthday parties, I tend to go a little weeny bit overboard.

97. It is Moo and Boo’s birthdays soon and you will see just how overboard I go

98. I am first attracted to a mans voice, DH has a sexy radio voice

99.  The first boy I had a crush on had a sexy English accent.

100.  This took me about as long as Kin to complete……

12 Responses to “100 things for my 100th post.”

  1. Bettina Says:

    well done!! I am in awe. I’m also thinking that I should probabaly start on my list now…… I’m on post 33! lmao

  2. Bettina Says:

    oh and the t-shirt ………. I get the numbers they correspond to the colours, but I don’t get the punchline (I must not be as geeky as some people think then aye haha)

  3. Lisa Says:

    Oh Kelley, you make me laugh, you make me feel human and sometimes you make me sad..

    I think you are a amazing person..

    I really enjoy coming to your pages to see all the bloggs..

    and Bettina – I don’t underestand the punchline either and i’m a little bit of a geek..

  4. Veronica Says:

    I love those shoes! Where did you get them?

    Nope I don’t get the t-shirt either. Do you maybe have a quick and easy HTML guide I can borrow?

  5. Kin Says:

    I can’t believe I just found this – duh!

    You sound almost as crazy as me chook! I LOVE your winning lottery plans!


  6. Bettina: Addictive innit? Yeah start early or you will end up like me madly trying to think of something that you haven’t already said!
    Apparently the shirt is funny if you are a total geek..

    Lisa: Thanks! Made me smile even though I am holed up in Boo’s room begging him to sleep.

    Veronica: They are rather delicious aren’t they? Oooh I should post a picture of my red/burgandy ones. THEY are to die for!

    Kin: I only posted it yesterday. AND I had yours open to give me inspiration LMAO. Will comment on that and your Prince William dream ASAP.

  7. Veronica Says:

    Love to see a photo of the red/burgandy ones. I am not a big ‘shoe’ fan, but boots! I love boots. (I suppose it is essentially the same thing hmmm)

  8. Bettina Says:

    Good boots are an absolute essental !!

  9. Deeleea Says:

    So, how does one actually find out one’s allergic to cat amniotic fluid???

  10. lightening74 Says:

    Well, I really missed this. I think you posted it while I was AWAY!!!! Oh well, read it now….

    I am totally jealous of the whole boot thing. I have FAT CALVES and boots don’t fit me. Boo hoo!!! My mum always had fabulous boots. Which is probably why I had to wear disgusting out of fashion hand me down clothes from my cousin who is 3 years older than me.

    I’m totally proud of myself – I *got* the t-shirt. Okay, I only got the colours bit and that was kind of given away. So I didn’t really *get* it…. But I *got* more of it than I would have a few months ago when HTML was unheard of (in my mind that is).

    Gosh, I’m glad I wasn’t aware of this when I made my 100th post. In fact, I think my 100th post was about my most, boring, uninteresting post I’ve made so far!!!! I remember being cross that I had to *waste* my 100th post on whatever it was I was writing about – as if I didn’t have any CHOICE. Even though it is MY blog. Bizarre.

    I guess if I type too much more I’ll be at risk of

    1. Being called Erin!
    2. Typing out 100 things about myself in the comments section of your 100 things post
    3. LOL.

  11. jodieodie Says:

    the Tshirt is a derivation from the original “all your base are belong to us”. This appeared in a computer game called Zero Wing, and was a Bad, but terribly appealing translation from Japanese. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_your_base_are_belong_to_us for more info.

    It’s DH not me, I promise!

    JodieOdie

  12. Boneblower Says:

    Shit Kelley, I’m starting to get hooked. Don’t let me get zoned in on 2D people, I like my 3D friends. I like seeing them, giving them a hug, hearing their voices……

    Anyway, your 100 things are brilliant!! How do you find the time to read 30 blogs a day??? I know you’re a busy mum, not one to sit on your arse and do nothing, so how do you find the time? I want a laptop!! Is that the answer? :)

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